Tag Archives: waiting

The Fruit of the Spirit is: Patience

Posted on May 13, 2013 by | Leave a comment

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

patience_fruitsOSP

Patience is defined as the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. It is also an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

Throughout our lives we are going to be faced with times that can cause us to be impatient. Actions of others that tend to arouse anger or wrath and cause us to lose our temper, being annoyed by another person’s shortcomings (this is typically a pride thing on our behalf and a whole different post), or restlessness that causes delay…WAITING.

Waiting is the hardest for me, because it is often times out of my control. Whether it’s waiting in traffic, waiting in a line at the grocery store when there are only 2 workers and 8 registers, waiting for an upcoming vacation, waiting on a husband, waiting on a career change, waiting on a family…waiting causes restlessness and impatience within my soul.

Today, as I write this post, marks the 7th anniversary of when I saw my finance Colby the last time before he went to be with the Lord. (I am writing on May 12th, he met the Savior face to face on May 13th). It’s crazy how time flies by. I remember on the 12th day of May in 2006, Colby, my mom, and I were visiting venues and discussing all things weddings. Colby and I were trying to pick a wedding date, a place to live, a place to work, a minister to marry us, decisions that were in that moment of extreme importance. Even then I can look back and remember being impatient. I remember thinking…”God I just want to know where we will end up living, what job I will end up having, and what church we will attend.” Impatience and restlessness were rooted in me even then, in what was one of the happiest times of my life. I would have never dreamed or wished for the events that took place on May 13th, 2006 to have happened. The call came, I went to the hospital and received the horrific news that Colby had passed away and I walked out of the hospital that day a changed person.
Waiting on the Lord and having patience for HIS best and HIS timing is something I am still learning to this day.

As I reflect back on the past 7 years I am reminded that no matter what season of life we are in patience during times of delay is at times directly related to our trust and faith in the Lord. I have since realized that patience or the lack thereof in my life is directly related to how I view the Lord. Do I see Him as the loving Father that He is, pouring out one blessing after another on me, making all things work for my good and loving me so much that He sent His only son to die for me? Do I trust in His perfect plan for me, a plan that He laid out for my life before I was even born? Do I believe that He truly wants and knows what is best for me? And because of that His delays are for my good—to prosper me not to harm me. For if this is my heart’s belief then trusting him with the timing of my desires, trusting Him with my life, and having patience on Him to provide will be easier (I didn’t say easy…just easier). In the book The Fruitful Life, author Jerry Bridges says, “The cure for impatience with the fulfillment of God’s timetable is to believe His promises, obey His will, and leave the results to Him.” At times this is hard for our sinful, controlling nature to do—but I truly believe in my own life, that as long as my focus stays on the character of who God is and how much He loves me then trusting in his timing and throughout His delays will come easier. By keeping my focus and my heart on who Christ is and His sovereignty the fruit of patience in ALL situations…whether it’s waiting for a desire to be met, being patient with a co-worker who doesn’t always treat me right, or being patient on the highway when traffic is at a standstill, will spring forth.

Throughout this OSP Series on the Fruits of the Spirit I have to remind myself of one important truth—in order to produce the Fruits we have to be connected and stay connected to the Vine.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:15

Each OSP writer has done a wonderful job taking a closer look at the first three fruits of the spirit. But at times I feel overwhelmed and defeated. There have been many times I have not loved well, been joyful in all circumstances and felt at peace when life gets tough. In those moments I have to take a soul inventory and ask myself, “Holli in whom are you abiding?” For if the answer is anyone or anything but Jesus then the fruit that I will be producing will not be the fruit that is mentioned in Galatians (apart from Christ I can do nothing). And as a Christian the Spiritual Fruit is what I desire to produce. So if you too have felt discouraged or when you feel discouraged regarding these areas of your life—ask yourself, “In whom or what am I abiding? Also, the realization that no matter what season of life I am in or not in—restlessness and impatience will enter if I don’t trust in the perfect love, character and will of the Father in my life! My prayer is that all of us remember daily just how much the Father loves us and how much He desires to grow us into fruit bearing children of His. What fruit are you producing today? Is it of the Spirit or of the flesh?

 

                                                                                                  Holli Howard

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Archive April: Praying For Your Future Husband

Posted on April 6, 2013 by | 1 Comment

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Originally Posted on: April 16, 2012

Proverbs 31:12  states that a wife of noble character is to bring her husband “good not harm all the days of her life.” This verse does not only apply to women who have already met their spouses, but to single women as well. We should be living our life in a way that ultimately glorifies the Lord, and also in a way that would be faithful to a future husband. One way to live this out is by praying for your future husband even before you meet him.

Several years ago I was reminded of the power of prayer in this area after hearing a friend’s testimony.  She shared that one night she woke up at 3am and felt the Lord telling her to pray for her future husband. She spent the remainder of the night in prayer because she knew he was in trouble.  She continued to pray for him daily after that.  A year later, when she was getting to know the man who now is her husband, he told her that he was involved in a car accident that almost took his life.  As he told her the details of how it happened, it was exactly the date and time that the Lord woke her up to pray.  When I heard this story I was reminded that God values and honors our prayers for a husband even when we cannot see what He is doing.

Recently, I read a book  titled “Praying For Your Future Husband,” by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer.  In this, the authors share Biblical encouragement and wisdom on how to pray for your husband and prepare your heart for his.  It also gives ways to pray for your sisters in Christ. I would like to share some of these, and I encourage you to spend some time this week in prayer for your future husband as well as your fellow sisters as we are trying to be the women God has called us to be.

  • Pray for his Heart - Pray that your future husband will give his heart to Jesus Christ. Pray that he will trust the Lord each day to get him through whatever life may bring, and for his thoughts and actions to reflect the love of Christ.   Pray these things also for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Strength - Pray that your future husband will have inner-spiritual strength and that the Lord will give him strength to fight temptations and difficulties.  Pray that the Lord will mold him into the leader he needs to be. Also, pray the same things for yourself and your friends. Pray that God will give you strength in areas where you are weakest and allow His strength to make you strong.
  • Pray for Loyalty and Faithfulness - Pray that your future husband will be faithful to the Lord in every area of his life.  Pray also that he is loyal to the friendships that God has already given him, and pray that he is already faithful to you.  Pray these things for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Protection - Pray that your future husband will be protected from the evil one.  Pray that he puts on the armor of God each day and for the Lord to help him fight not only the outward sources that try to bring him down but also the sin nature inside.  Also, pray the same protection each day for yourself and your friends.
  •  Pray for Contentment - Pray that your future husband will be content, and have patience as he waits for God to lead him to you.  Pray that his heart will not be hardened during this time, but instead that he grow closer in his relationship with Christ. Pray that he spends his time focusing on serving Christ and others, and not dwelling on being single.  Pray that Christ alone will always be enough.  Pray for the same contentment for yourself and your friends.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Amelia McNeilly

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Worth the Wait

Posted on November 19, 2012 by | 6 Comments

“From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.” Isaiah 64:4

It’s my birthday month! I turn 35 this year…gulp…and next month, I get to marry the most amazing man I’ve ever met! Believe me, waiting until you’re 35 to marry is a looooooong time to wait. But I wouldn’t change a thing. God’s plans are so much better than mine.

Let’s rewind the clock about ten years.  I would have been 25 years old, and to my mind at the time, the perfect age to marry (actually earlier but I would have settled to be married at 25). I was heading off to seminary ready to meet the love of my life, conquer my master’s degree, and face the world serving the Lord by my husband’s side. I was full of excitement, naivety and self-righteousness, and had lots of growing to do in all areas of life. My now fiancé, however, was living the life of an unbeliever. God wasn’t even on his radar at that time. If we would have met then, I would have either been witnessing to him or completely ignoring him!

Fast forward to about 5 years ago. I would have been turning 30, and to my mind way behind schedule to get married and start a family. I had graduated from seminary and was working full time (at a job where neither of my degrees were necessary), and trying to figure out what to do with my life. I was learning much about life and going through a lot of heart-ache. My future husband was in another state and had only been a Christian for about 3 years. He was learning much of Christ and planning to start college soon. He was focused on growing as a new creation and not even thinking about girls. If we had met then, he wouldn’t have even noticed me.

Now let’s skip ahead to last year at this time. I was about to turn 34, and had (mostly) made peace with my singleness and God’s good plan for my life. I didn’t know if I would ever marry and I was generally ok with that. It was no longer essential for a good life for me. I was happy in my little home with the ministries that the Lord had given me and was going about life just fine. There were times when being on my own was difficult and was the last thing I wanted, but there were also days when I couldn’t imagine being “tethered” to someone else and enjoyed my life as a single.

Then in March of this year, a friend of mine told me about a man from my home church who was coming to the school where I work and asked me to help him find his way around. Little did I know when I contacted him with purely helpful intentions that we’d be getting married by the end of the year (If you want to read more of our story, you can read these two posts on my blog: Surprised by Love Once Again and Life on the Fast Track).

God’s timing is perfect and it’s definitely worth the wait. All those years of longing, unanswered prayers, and missing a man that I had never met have all been forgotten. The waiting was difficult but I learned so much from it. And waiting doesn’t stop when you get what you’ve been waiting for. No, you just have to wait for something else. So learning to wait well is good and is a fruit of the Spirit (patience) that needs to be cultivated (which means effort and practice as we learn to deny ourselves and live by the Spirit).

So press on, dear ones! Keep seeking the Lord and following hard after Him. He is for you and is not withholding anything from those who walk uprightly (Ps. 84:11). He is not spiteful or teasing you by dangling the gift of marriage in front of you but only giving it to others. He is generous and a good gift giver–giving to each person what is perfectly suited for them in every season of life. Therefore, if marriage is good for you then God will bring that to you at His perfect time and in His perfect way. He will guide your path, and the path of your spouse just as He has done for centuries to bring about His good plans, so there’s no need to worry (visit my post Worrisome Birds …which I wrote when I was very single…for more on the theme of God’s perfect timing and providence). Put your trust in His faithfulness and love for you.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” - Lamentations 3:22-25

Carrie Pickelsimer

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The Waiting Game

Posted on July 16, 2012 by | 2 Comments

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Cor 1:3-4

Waiting is hard. Whether we’re waiting for some sort of life change or our dinner to warm up in the microwave, it’s tough to have to pause when you are in “full-steam-ahead” mode. Over the years, waiting has been a recurring theme for me. I wish I could say that I’m an expert—and by now I should be—but I think waiting is a lifelong lesson, at least for most Christians. We are often told to “wait on the Lord” in Scripture. It’s just part of the life of a believer. We are ultimately waiting for His blessed appearance to judge all mankind and make all things right, but the little waiting games throughout life are like spiritual basic training preparing us for that Day.

I used to think that waiting was like a dog waiting for a treat that’s been placed on the tip of its nose, sitting there trembling with energetic expectation. That’s how I used to wait. It was exhausting. I was the stupid sheep that the Good Shepherd had to make lie down in green pastures beside still waters…tenderly but firmly holding me down while I was struggling to get up and check out all the surrounding mud puddles.

Then through Scripture, prayer and counsel, I began to realize that waiting should be much more restful. Waiting on the Lord for His answers, direction, provision and timing can (and should) be a time of rest and growth in relationship with the Shepherd. Instead of rushing ahead or worrying about whether He will provide, wouldn’t it be better to sit at His side waiting patiently for Him to move, trusting that His timing is perfect and good? But sometimes (maybe, most of the time if you’re a little impatient like me…) that’s not easy.

So I thought I would share a few quotes that I’ve gleaned over the years that encourage my heart when I’m in waiting mode. (Many of the Psalms are helpful as well; Psalms 25, 27, 37, 62, and 130 are my favorites for this theme. And I’ve linked to the online pdf versions of the books below for your reading enjoyment.)

We are taught and enabled to wait by grace as we learn to live as Christians: “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.” (Titus 2:11-14)

“He stirs up your nest. He disappoints your hopes. He brings down your confidence. He makes you fear and tremble, as all your strength fails, and you feel utterly weary and helpless. And all the while He is spreading His strong wings for you to rest your weakness on, and offering His everlasting Creator-strength to work in you. And all He asks is that you should sink down in your weariness and wait on Him; and allow Him in His Jehovah-strength to carry you as you ride upon the wings of His omnipotence.” Andrew Murray, Waiting on God, 1896. pg 28 of 46. (Deut. 32:10-12)

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” – C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, 1942. pg 1 of 9.

“My brethren, the reason why you have not got contentment in the things of the world is not because you have not got enough of them.  That is not the reason.  But the reason is because they are not things proportionable to that immortal soul of yours that is capable of God himself.  Many men think that when they are troubled and have not got contentment, it is because they have but a little in the world, and if they had more then they would be content.  That is just as if a man were hungry, and to satisfy his craving stomach he should gape and hold open his mouth to take in the wind, and then should think that the reason why he is not satisfied is because he has not got enough of the wind.  No, the reason is because the thing is not suitable to a craving stomach.” Jeremiah Burroughs (1599-1646), The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, pg 54 of 142.

 “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it” Psalm 81:10

(First posted on Surprised by Love | The Waiting Game)

Carrie Pickelsimer

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Delight in the Lord

Posted on May 28, 2012 by | 2 Comments

One of my favorite verses in the Psalms is Psalm 37:4, which states, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Many think this means that God will give them what they personally desire. However, what the verse really means is that when we seek the Lord and make Him our everything, He will give us His desires.

Although, if we are honest, that is not what we like to hear at times.  We think  God should give us what we want, at the time that we want it. We want God to send us our future spouse now, get the job we want now, or to be healed of a sickness now. None of those examples are bad desires, and are God given ones, but where we so often miss the mark is when we put those desires before our desire for Jesus Christ.

As I was reading this verse the other day I was convicted that I too often get wrapped up in what I want instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus and simply asking, “What do you want from me today Lord, show me your desires.” It’s a choice we have to make daily. Are we going to delight in the Lord and seek His face because we love what He loves, or are we going to continue to dwell on our wants?

God wants the best for His children and He doesn’t want to withhold any good thing from us (Psalm 84:11).  However, He wants us to seek Him first and trust Him to do what He thinks is best. When we do that our desires will be His, and only then will we truly be content. Who are you delighting in today? Yourself or Jesus? Spend some time with the Savior and ask, “What do you want for me Jesus?”

Amelia McNeilly

Photo taken from Pinterest.

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“Not Another Dating Book” Q&A with Renee Fisher

Posted on May 2, 2012 by | Leave a comment

Below is a post I wrote recently for My Walk of Grace, and I thought I would share it here as well.

In February, my sweet friend Renee Fisher released her second devotional,    “Not Another Dating Book a Devotional Guide to ALL Your Relationships.” It is a must read, and I would highly recommend it to all single ladies. It is a refreshing devotional that not only addresses issues in dating, but more importantly encourages the reader to fall in love with Jesus Christ who should  be their first love. When reading it each day, I felt like I was sitting with a friend having coffee discussing God and life. Renee graciously agreed to do an interview with me, and below are some questions taken from a group of 20-something women on the topic of relationships. To read more from Renee please visit her website, Devotional Diva.

- Christian 20 something guys and girls are different, how should each best guard themselves in today’s disposable relationship society?

“Unfortunately/fortunately I was never the type to date just to date. I wanted to. I wanted a relationship, and I think God saw that I wouldn’t be able to take the dating and breaking up because of how attached I get. Not to say that others don’t get attached…but for me–I spent so much of my single life focusing on what God had for me including school and ministry that I didn’t get caught up in the disposable relationship category. However, if it does happen to you just know that you can’t control anyone but yourself. No matter how painful or how much you think “God told you” the other person is free to make their own decisions even if you don’t agree with them. As you give God your all, He will help you guard your heart, mind, body, and soul.”

- What do you think about flirting?

“Flirting is fun. It can be a great icebreaker when you’re getting to know someone–especially someone you like. It can also let the person you’re interested know you’re available. Without realizing it, being overly flirtatious can cause negative attention and put you in bad circumstances. For instance, what happens when a guy doesn’t stop at “no.” Be mindful of who you’re flirting with and what your motives are.”

- Is there such a thing as flirting in a Godly way?

“I think so. When you like someone, it’s okay to let him or her know that you’re available and that you’re interested. Look at Rahab, Ruth, or Rebekah. Three women God used because they were willing and available.”

- What advice would you give to 20-something single girls when talking to guys and not leading them on?

“That’s a hard question to answer. I don’t think there’s a general rule because some people are shy and others are outgoing. For me, I’d use keywords like “friends”, make sure I’m not flirting with them, and not hanging out with a guy alone into all hours of the night.”

- What advice would you give someone whose roommate wanted her boyfriend to stay the night?

“I got put in this position a few times. Personally, I was uncomfortable with it–period. Know what your boundaries are and ask your roommates to come to an agreement together–if at all possible.”

- What are your thoughts on online dating?

“Be careful. I know some people who have met their spouses online. I also    know some people–including myself who ended up in a sticky situation because I didn’t realize the guy would end up being a creep. Use discretion and make    sure you plan your dates out in a public place. Also, let a friend know where you   are so he or she can keep tabs on you just in case the person isn’t who they       say they are!”

- If your parents are not Christian, but you are, what advice would you give a girl particularly, in getting guy acceptance from her parents?

“A guy can earn respect even if your parents are not Christians. I think most people respect people who are respectable. Maybe the dad wouldn’t be comfortable with a guy asking for permission to date his daughter, but he would probably appreciate asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage.”

- What are some ways friends can encourage each other during their season of waiting for God to send them a spouse?

“I am so grateful for all the friendships God brought into my life as a single person. Sometimes they were single; sometimes they were married, and other times they got married while I was still single. I think it’s important to befriend different types of relationships God brings into your life so you don’t feel stuck. Those who are married can encourage you that God CAN and WILL bring you a spouse–if it’s His will. Those who are single can spend more time with you, encouraging you, and being a friend.”

- As a married woman, what advice would you give to single ladies as they continue to prepare their hearts for the one God has for them?

“Once you’re married the process doesn’t stop, but it changes. I’ve seen now in the past 6 months of marriage how my insecurities are only magnified. Take the time to face your fears and go with God on an adventure. Find out what you like and what makes you tick. Realize your identity is found in Christ–not a relationship, job title, or your bank account.”

- Any other thoughts you would like to share?

“Psalm 37:1 is my favorite verse when it comes to dating. Don’t fret about evil guys (the bad boy) or be envious of those who do wrong (those you wish you were dating). Let God bring you the right guy–even if that means waiting longer than expected. It’s worth it.”

Get your copy of “Not Another Dating Book” here.

Amelia McNeilly

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Praying For Your Future Husband

Posted on April 16, 2012 by | 11 Comments

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Proverbs 31:12  states that a wife of noble character is to bring her husband “good not harm all the days of her life.” This verse does not only apply to women who have already met their spouses, but to single women as well. We should be living our life in a way that ultimately glorifies the Lord, and also in a way that would be faithful to a future husband. One way to live this out is by praying for your future husband even before you meet him.

Several years ago I was reminded of the power of prayer in this area after hearing a friend’s testimony.  She shared that one night she woke up at 3am and felt the Lord telling her to pray for her future husband. She spent the remainder of the night in prayer because she knew he was in trouble.  She continued to pray for him daily after that.  A year later, when she was getting to know the man who now is her husband, he told her that he was involved in a car accident that almost took his life.  As he told her the details of how it happened, it was exactly the date and time that the Lord woke her up to pray.  When I heard this story I was reminded that God values and honors our prayers for a husband even when we cannot see what He is doing.

Recently, I read a book  titled “Praying For Your Future Husband,” by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer.  In this, the authors share Biblical encouragement and wisdom on how to pray for your husband and prepare your heart for his.  It also gives ways to pray for your sisters in Christ. I would like to share some of these, and I encourage you to spend some time this week in prayer for your future husband as well as your fellow sisters as we are trying to be the women God has called us to be.

  • Pray for his Heart - Pray that your future husband will give his heart to Jesus Christ. Pray that he will trust the Lord each day to get him through whatever life may bring, and for his thoughts and actions to reflect the love of Christ.   Pray these things also for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Strength - Pray that your future husband will have inner-spiritual strength and that the Lord will give him strength to fight temptations and difficulties.  Pray that the Lord will mold him into the leader he needs to be. Also, pray the same things for yourself and your friends. Pray that God will give you strength in areas where you are weakest and allow His strength to make you strong.
  • Pray for Loyalty and Faithfulness - Pray that your future husband will be faithful to the Lord in every area of his life.  Pray also that he is loyal to the friendships that God has already given him, and pray that he is already faithful to you.  Pray these things for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Protection - Pray that your future husband will be protected from the evil one.  Pray that he puts on the armor of God each day and for the Lord to help him fight not only the outward sources that try to bring him down but also the sin nature inside.  Also, pray the same protection each day for yourself and your friends.
  •  Pray for Contentment - Pray that your future husband will be content, and have patience as he waits for God to lead him to you.  Pray that his heart will not be hardened during this time, but instead that he grow closer in his relationship with Christ. Pray that he spends his time focusing on serving Christ and others, and not dwelling on being single.  Pray that Christ alone will always be enough.  Pray for the same contentment for yourself and your friends.

Amelia McNeilly

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Rethinking my purpose.

Posted on April 9, 2012 by | 9 Comments

I’m one of those people who thinks a lot. Sometimes…well most of the time, about some really random things. My recent thinking has brought to surface some things that I am dealing with when it comes to what my purpose is as a young, single, Christian woman. One word comes to mind…waiting.

Now, this word waiting is not a new thing in my life. I’m a 24 year old graduate student who has never been in a serious relationship. I’m at the point in my life where all my friends are getting engaged and married within the same calendar year…and let me tell you, it’s not easy.

Please don’t feel sorry me, just hear me out. Our Christian culture, I believe, places a great deal of emphasis on relationships. I have prayed for God to write my love story and have cried many nights over my lack of even experiencing a love story.

But even in knowing and having to be reminded daily that God is faithful and loves me more than anyone in the universe ever could…I still have faced, seen, heard, and felt an incredible amount of pressure from the Christian community towards relationships and ultimately marriage. Girls seem to always be praised when they have found their dream guy. But when they still have yet to find ‘’Mr. Right’’ or ‘’Prince Charming,’’ they are told that God’s going to bring a man into their lives —as if the sole purpose of their lives is to get married.

So, here’s the question I have been rethinking in my head…how do I respond to this? I know people ‘mean well’ and they ask because they love me (especially mothers, grandmothers and aunts) but how do I respond without sounding or feeling jealous or bitter?

I mentioned earlier that girls always seemed to be praised when they have found their dream guy and those of us who haven’t…well, we just haven’t.

I feel that Christian communities tend to be sometimes unsupportive of single women. It seems like the very people who should be inspiring us to live a life completely devoted to Christ are the ones who severely lower our self-esteem, which in turn leads us to believe that we need to be married to be complete.

I found a book on Amazon listed under ‘Christian and Religious Books’, entitled, Getting Serious About Getting Married. I was shocked to read,

The belief that remaining single is legitimate and godly is a work of the devil. Read that again: Satan dishonors marriage by fooling us into believing that singleness is okay (page 43).

…men and women who are not connected in marriage are like the mutilated members of a mangled body (page 28).

Wait?! What?! Did that just say what I think it said? This book is saying that there is no way for a woman to glorify God other than getting married.

Are you kidding? Messages like this can lead many Christian women to settle for men who are mediocre and self-centered, just so they can supposedly fulfill God’s will.

Single women should not let their lives be consumed by their apparent “need” to find a guy. We should be concerned with devoting our lives to Jesus and serving Him faithfully. There is a song by John Waller called ‘While I’m Waiting’. Let these lyrics be an encouragement for you:

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting I will serve You
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait.

My purpose is not to fall into a slump of misery if I haven’t found my dream guy yet. My heart should be enlivened and grow deeper in my relationship with God. If I happen to fall in love with a great man, oh how blessed that man will be! Haha! But he will find me as someone who is devoted to her Lord first and foremost. If I don’t, that’s fine too, because my relationship with God is enough and provides me with the everlasting fulfillment that no human relationship can. My singleness is a journey, not a trapped prison. It’s growing in my trust of the Lord and believing and knowing He has a plan for me. Rather single or married, it won’t matter.

Is singleness a blessing in your life? Is it a burden? How will you be rethinking your purpose?

Karina Lopez

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