Tag Archives: relationships

The Fruit of the Spirit is: Peace

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

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When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul. – Hymn Written by: Horatio Spadfford

Most of us can point to areas of our lives that cause stress, heartache, and unhappiness. And some of those things we can change; but honestly, many we can’t. Regardless of the situation, anyone can find serenity and calm in Jesus.

My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27).

Our culture points us to material things, relationships, accomplishments to bring a sense of security. Too many times we expect marriage, sexual intimacy, physical attractiveness, prosperity, or a successful career to bring us peace. But none of these things can guarantee a sense of inner tranquility. Why? Because each one is subject to change and attempting to find peace through something that is always changing doesn’t end well for anyone. God doesn’t promise us a life that is trouble-free but if we have an intimate relationship with Jesus, we can have a quietness that gives us strength so we are not devastated by adversity and heartache.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

I am so thankful for this Scripture. It never fails to surpass all comprehension. It’s unchanging—it doesn’t come and go depending on my circumstances and I am so thankful for that.

Your circumstances might be out of control—or maybe you are simply a little disappointed with the way life has turned out for you so far. You might think that more money, a better job, or a certain relationship could make all the difference in how you feel. But I am convinced that even with all those things, there will still be a sense of restlessness. There is only one source of peace— the God who holds the universe together. You and I can focus on our circumstances and try to manipulate them for our own benefit or we can dwell on negative facts and make ourselves literally sick and ill with worry. That’s just going to leave us with unstable and shaky security. But when we choose to find our peace in the Lord, He will comfort us through our heartaches in life and give us confidence and unshakable security.

Now I’m not gonna pretend that I have it all together. I tend to try and seek peace the same way every else does. I expect to find security in jobs, relationships, wealth, material things, appearance, etc. Wealth disappears, jobs end, relationships fail, material things deteriorate and beauty is fleeting. Even good health is not a guarantee. So much of life is uncertain. But there is only one reliable source of supernatural peace. You and I can and will experience inner serenity that isn’t dependent on circumstances and the secret to this amazing tranquility is surrendering to Jesus. Peace with God is the fruit of oneness with Him. Surrender to Him and you can face every day with a powerful sense of indescribable peace.

Karina Lopez

Archive April: Praying For Your Future Husband

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Originally Posted on: April 16, 2012

Proverbs 31:12  states that a wife of noble character is to bring her husband “good not harm all the days of her life.” This verse does not only apply to women who have already met their spouses, but to single women as well. We should be living our life in a way that ultimately glorifies the Lord, and also in a way that would be faithful to a future husband. One way to live this out is by praying for your future husband even before you meet him.

Several years ago I was reminded of the power of prayer in this area after hearing a friend’s testimony.  She shared that one night she woke up at 3am and felt the Lord telling her to pray for her future husband. She spent the remainder of the night in prayer because she knew he was in trouble.  She continued to pray for him daily after that.  A year later, when she was getting to know the man who now is her husband, he told her that he was involved in a car accident that almost took his life.  As he told her the details of how it happened, it was exactly the date and time that the Lord woke her up to pray.  When I heard this story I was reminded that God values and honors our prayers for a husband even when we cannot see what He is doing.

Recently, I read a book  titled “Praying For Your Future Husband,” by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer.  In this, the authors share Biblical encouragement and wisdom on how to pray for your husband and prepare your heart for his.  It also gives ways to pray for your sisters in Christ. I would like to share some of these, and I encourage you to spend some time this week in prayer for your future husband as well as your fellow sisters as we are trying to be the women God has called us to be.

  • Pray for his Heart - Pray that your future husband will give his heart to Jesus Christ. Pray that he will trust the Lord each day to get him through whatever life may bring, and for his thoughts and actions to reflect the love of Christ.   Pray these things also for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Strength - Pray that your future husband will have inner-spiritual strength and that the Lord will give him strength to fight temptations and difficulties.  Pray that the Lord will mold him into the leader he needs to be. Also, pray the same things for yourself and your friends. Pray that God will give you strength in areas where you are weakest and allow His strength to make you strong.
  • Pray for Loyalty and Faithfulness - Pray that your future husband will be faithful to the Lord in every area of his life.  Pray also that he is loyal to the friendships that God has already given him, and pray that he is already faithful to you.  Pray these things for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Protection - Pray that your future husband will be protected from the evil one.  Pray that he puts on the armor of God each day and for the Lord to help him fight not only the outward sources that try to bring him down but also the sin nature inside.  Also, pray the same protection each day for yourself and your friends.
  •  Pray for Contentment - Pray that your future husband will be content, and have patience as he waits for God to lead him to you.  Pray that his heart will not be hardened during this time, but instead that he grow closer in his relationship with Christ. Pray that he spends his time focusing on serving Christ and others, and not dwelling on being single.  Pray that Christ alone will always be enough.  Pray for the same contentment for yourself and your friends.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Amelia McNeilly

A Friend to Unbelievers

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Have you heard of the Christian bubble? A Christian finds herself in the Christian bubble when she spends all of her time with other Christians. It’s a comfortable place. She loves the joy of fellowship, engaging all of her social interactions with like-minded people. Slipping into the bubble is easy. We have abundant opportunities to develop relationships with other believers through Bible studies, ministries, church functions, and many times at work and in our families. These relationships are good gifts from our Father for our sanctification and encouragement, and our love for one another is a testimony to unbelievers of God’s grace and greatness (John 13.34-35).

Jesus had intimate fellowship with his disciples. He found rest and friendship with Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. No doubt, these times were precious and refreshing to him, but he also intentionally spent significant time with “sinners,” such as tax collectors (known to be embezzlers) and prostitutes. He met with Nicodemus “after hours” for deep conversation (John 3.1-21). He went to their homes (Luke 19.1-10). He ate meals with them, so much so that the religious elite accused him of being a drunkard and a glutton (Luke 7.34). He engaged with them, and they were drawn to him (Luke 15.1-2). We can see from these examples that the Christian bubble is not like Christ, and if it isn’t like Christ, then it isn’t “Christian.” Bubble. Popped.

I will confess that I am not good at being friends with unbelievers, and in writing this post I have been convicted of how much I am currently surrounding myself with all things Christian and shying away from interacting on a deep level with anyone outside the faith. I interact with unbelievers at work, running errands, and even in ministry, but I can’t say that I am truly friends with any of them. I live most of my life in the bubble.

We should learn from our Savior and be deliberate in pursuing friendship with people who are living apart from God. We have to meet them where they are and be a friend they want to be around. How do we apply Jesus’ example to our lives? Unbelievers don’t usually hang out in churches. So we must move outside the walls and into our communities. Here are some ideas from my own past experiences and what other Christians have shared with me in recent weeks.

  • First, pray. Ask God to open opportunities for friendships with unbelievers.
  • Then, look around you. Who are the unbelievers God has already placed in your life? Invite a coworker to lunch and try to make it a routine. Ask your neighbor over for coffee. Get into her life, and let her get into yours. Ask about her kids, what her childhood was like, what she does on weekends. Try to find common interests, then do them together. Get manicures; go shopping; jog or walk together.
  • Join activities in your community. Sign up for a city league sports team. Volunteer with a local charity. Join a civic organization. Then work to build relationships with the other participants.
  • Be a regular. I have a favorite lunch spot or two, and I’m sure you do, too. Get to know the person behind the counter. Remember her name. If you go often enough, you’ll identify other regulars. Initiate conversations. For example, my parents eat at the same restaurant every Sunday after church. When I visit them on a weekend, they can usually tell me what’s going on in most of the employees’ lives – illnesses, academic endeavors, family issues. They learn all this because they often ask their servers how they can pray for them when they ask God’s blessings on their meal. They almost always get a warm response. Relationships grow out of encounters like these.
  • Don’t expect unbelievers to act like believers. The tax collectors were still greedy when Jesus ate with them, but he wasn’t shocked by that. At the same time, he didn’t let their greediness rub off on him. Be open with unbelievers, and let them be open with you. Just remember that their openness may give you an earful or eyeful of worldliness. Love them, but be careful not to follow them into sin.
  • Imitate Jesus, not the religious leaders, who refused to associate with people who lived out of God’s will because they were unclean. We must remember that we are sinners, too, and it is by God’s grace alone that we are not still dead in our sins. We have received grace, so there is no room for a condescending attitude. Our friendship with them should not be conditioned on whether they begin to follow Christ. On the contrary, our continued friendship could reinforce the gospel in a way that the Spirit eventually uses to draw them to Christ. Which leads to my final point…
  • Point them to Christ. This doesn’t mean we browbeat them with the gospel, but we should purposefully speak the truth of Christ into their lives. We are his ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5.20). This means our behavior should be above reproach and full of love. The greatest gesture of friendship is to tell them how to have abundant, eternal life in Christ.

Being a friend to unbelievers is a great investment of time, but it’s time well spent. When we leave our comfortable bubbles to engage those who are lost without the hope of Christ, we imitate Jesus, who left the riches of heaven, became human, and humbled himself to serve sinners and provide the way for their salvation (Philippians 2.1-11). Someone was once a Christian friend to your lost soul and pointed you to Christ, and you can do the same. This is what it is to be salt and light and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 5.13-1622.36-40).

Bethany Wester

Ways Single Ladies Can Encourage Their Married Friends

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Many people think that singles cannot be friends with people who are married, and vice versa. However, it does not have to be that way. I am single, but some of my best friends are married. In all friendships, whether single or married, we should look for ways to encourage one another. On Monday, Marlana wrote a great post about how married people can encourage their single friends, and today I want to share with you some ways singles can be of encouragement to those that are married.

  • If your friend is newly married give them some space. I think one of the hardest adjustments as a single person is when your best friend gets married, and all of a sudden you are not talking to them or hanging out with them as much as before. However, just because they may not be calling you every day does not mean they do not love you. Being newly married is an adjustment in many ways so give them the time they need to adjust to this new season that God has given them.
  • Give them verbal encouragement. Encourage them in what you are learning from their marriage and life. I think this greatly needed because it can be helpful for them to have some positive affirmation into their life that they may not see themselves. This  also serves as a helpful reminder to them about how God has blessed their life and relationships. As singles, I think there is much wisdom in learning from our friends who are married. Observe their life and allow their wisdom to prepare you for your future as a married person. Also, pray for them. Show them that you care about what is going on in their life and their family.
  • Offer to babysit so they can have a date night. If your friends have kids offer to watch them periodically so they can have a night out. Life can get hectic for moms, and by doing this you are giving them and their spouse a much needed break. Also, for a new mom take her a meal, help with errands, and offer any other help that she might need as she is adjusting to motherhood.
  • Respect their time.  As you are planning times to hang out or to talk, ask them what works for them and try to be flexible with their schedule. Ask if a certain day works better to have coffee or to talk, and plan a time to do it. As mentioned earlier, just because one of you may be married and the other one not, does not mean you still cannot be close friends and share life with one another. As Marlana mentioned in her post from Monday, to make any friendship work being intentional is key. A lot of my close friends do not live nearby so each week we plan a time to talk by phone or by Skype. A lot of times that is during their kids nap time, in the evening after the kids are in bed, or in the car on the way home from work.  Find out what works best and make an effort to invest in their friendship.

Please stay tuned to the blog as we continue our series on the topic of friendship throughout the month of March, and be sure to let your friends know how thankful you are for them today.

                                                                                             Amelia McNeilly

Ways Married Ladies Can Encourage Their Single Friends.

friendship_This is a hard topic. Married and single friends do not always mix. Maybe it’s like a cultural thing. Once a girl gets married, she almost feels like she has to say goodbye to all her single friends. I have seen this time and time again. It’s like a single girl only has single friends and a married girl only has married friends. Why? Because it is easier that way. Many singles feel frustrated with their friends who get married…and vice versa. Yes, friendships do change after marriage. Change is inevitable. But, I believe that there is a balance that can be achieved when single and married ladies are friends.

From a single gal, here are my thoughts on how my married friends can encourage me and their single friends:

Show us what a godly family looks like.

We want to see you interacting with your husband and kids. We need to see you interact with your family. It is extremely healthy for us to watch the way you handle your personal relationships. Invite us to go out to dinner with you and your husband, or go to a theme park with your kids.

ON THE FLIP SIDE:

  • We do not need to see you make out with your husband. (Single ladies, can I get an “Amen”?) Affection is acceptable at times, but please don’t rub your affections in our face.
  • We do not need to spend all our friend time with both you and your husband-give us some girl time. Same thing with your kids-we love your kids, but we honestly don’t always want them tagging along.

Let us into your personal life.

As single ladies, we want to be a part of what is going on in your heart. We want to pray with you. We want to hear your struggles, anxieties, and fears. We are just as much a woman as any married lady and want to walk with you in this life. We may not be married, but we can offer advice and godly counsel. Let us into your personal life…we do care!

ON THE FLIP SIDE:

  • Don’t talk to us about your sex life. We don’t care. We don’t wanna know. And more importantly, we don’t need to know. Period.

 Be mindful of our feelings.

Realize that your single friend is in a completely different season of life than you. Please be considerate when offering advice. Sometimes, us single girls can take your advice too personal. We honestly don’t think you have a clue to what you are talking about…only because you are married. Please don’t say, “I totally remember what it is like to be single.” (Especially if you were 21 when you got married!)

ON THE FLIP SIDE:

  • Offer advice and encouragement as much and as often as you can! Remember that singles don’t often have anyone daily in their life to share what is going on in their hearts.

 Be intentional by making us a priority.

 Sometimes, we just don’t feel like we are a priority anymore once the wedding bells chime. Yes, your priorities should shift to your home. We want your husband and children to be your main priority. But, don’t forget about us. Be intentional about reaching out to us. Most of the time, we’ll get frustrated that we can’t ever seem to talk to you without screaming babies or prying husbands at the other end of the phone. Make time. Be intentional.

ON THE FLIP SIDE:

  • Realize that we singles have a life. Don’t assume that because we are single, we aren’t busy. We should desire for your friendship to be a priority as well, but can’t always fit into your schedule. Sometimes, try to meet us where we are.

Intentionality is key when it comes to maintaining these friendships. Stay tuned-Wednesday we will hear from Amelia on how single ladies can encourage their married friends!

Marlana Kaye

Purity of the Mind

As we journeyed as a family to church this morning, I read this:

Psalm 119:9 “How can a young man keep his way pure, by keeping it according to your Word.”

purityofmindWhen we hear purity talked about in middle and high school and even at college conferences, we mostly hear the same words about pre-marital sex and being modest in our clothing, and watching your dating relationships.  Right?  I want  to broaden our understanding of the type of purity God calls us to.  He calls us to a holistic purity, namely, holiness, and that reaches every part of our being: our minds included.

So, how can we as single women, or married women, keep our minds pure.  These are just some of the ideas that the Spirit has worked in me – and keeps working in me on a daily basis.

1.  Be in the Word every day.  The Word is the only perfect book out there.  It is a best-seller.  But, even though most of us have multiple copies on our bookshelves, in our cars, on our desktop…how many of us read it as much as we should.  I have to be honest, I usually have a greater desire to be in the Word than I have actual time spent in the Word.  This is the primary way we keep our minds pure.

2.  Friendships.  As women most of our lives revolve around relationships.  Whether these are with men or with women, we need to be careful whom we allow to speak into our lives.  Do we hang out mostly with non-Christians, or do we want friends who greatly desire to be more like Christ pouring into our minds and spirits?  These friendships are crucial to our thriving as women and especially as those who want to be women after God’s own heart.

3.  Media.  Oh, ladies, here lies a great danger.  My husband and I were just talking yesterday about this in the media of music.  But, this applies to everything.  I think one of the best things I heard as a single woman is be careful of most chick flicks, because most of it is emotional pornography.  Let me explain.  When we see movies that have the dashing characters such as Mr. Darcy, or a well-dressed suitor such as the fiance in Sweet Home Alabama or if we think every man should treat us as any award-winning Nicholas Sparks leading actor – then we are setting ourselves up for failure.  We aren’t letting our minds focus on what is right and pure and true.  I’m not saying these movies or wrong in and of themselves.  But, if we desire those things and aren’t content with what God has given us – or especially when God does grant us the desires of our hearts but we find our suitor lacking because he isn’t Mr. Darcy, then we have been listening to the lies of the enemy.  Guard your mind, keep it pure, even in what you watch on the big screen or on your television set at home.

4.  Preach to yourself.  I learned this concept from years of reading Lloyd-Jones (Spiritual Depression), Jerry Bridges, and CJ Mahaney.  One of the best ways we can keep our minds pure and focused on Christ is by preaching the gospel to ourselves.  I’m speaking here of the times we want to dwell on the negative or how life isn’t treating us as we think we ought to be treated.  I’m speaking here of us living in our sin and jumping right back into the pit that the psalmist says our God has rescued us from. Our tendency for most of us is to be hard on ourselves, live in despair, and not focus on the cross-centered life as we ought.  This is one of the BEST ways to direct our steps to living a pure life in our minds.

Just as with all of these disciplines that we have been studying here on OSP the first part of 2013, this purity of the mind concept is a discipline as well.  Pray the Spirit would make you into a woman who wants to guard her mind for God’s great glory.  Let Him work mightily and free you from bondage in this area.  He is ready and willing.

Kimberly Campbell

O Husband, Where Art Thou?

by: Erin Elizabeth Austin; Guest Writer

We’ve all done it – dreamed the dream. You know the one I’m talking about; the dream all little girls have to be married, live in a beautiful house, have two kids, and a dog. And the dream only intensifies as we grow older. We wonder what our husband will look like, where he is at this exact moment, and how he’ll love every little thing about us, including our little imperfections, quirks, and sickness. Sickness??? Wait, that wasn’t part of the dream! Who wants to be sick, and what man would choose to marry someone who is chronically sick? Yet for me, this became my reality my senior year in high school.

When most people learn they have a chronic illness, their first thoughts are to wonder what their quality of life will become, what treatments they’ll undergo, and how to pay the huge medical bills, but not me. One of the first thoughts I had after being diagnosed with lupus was, “What man in his right mind will ever want to marry me?”

I managed to convince myself I would meet the right guy, fall madly in love, and live out “The Dream,” but in the back of my mind that nagging question plagued my thoughts. I continued on with my life as best as one can when living with a chronic illness. I went to college, made new friends, and even met a guy. Although we were only in the beginning stages of moving our relationship from friendship to something more permanent, we were in agreement that we could easily see ourselves getting married. And then it happened. My lupus reared its ugly head, and my health took a nose dive hard and fast. Suddenly, my Prince Charming wasn’t so gallant, and he ran from our relationship as fast as he could. Not only was I left with a broken heart, but I felt unwanted, ugly, and unloved.

Although I can now look back at that time and be thankful for that lupus flare, it took me several years to deal with those feelings of self-loathing. Since then, I’ve realized that many single women, both healthy and sick, deal with feelings of being unwanted and unloved. When the dream we’ve had planned for our entire lives falls flat, it’s easy to feel like we’ve failed and our lives have little worth, but God doesn’t judge us by the same standard we judge ourselves. In 1 Samuel 16, when the prophet Samuel goes to Bethlehem to anoint Israel’s new king, Samuel wanted to anoint David’s older brother because of how he looked and his position in his family. But in verse seven God tells Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

We single women are often guilty of judging ourselves harshly because our lives don’t look a certain way. Yet God doesn’t judge us for being single. He doesn’t love us less because we’re not married. He doesn’t decide He would rather not have a relationship with us because our lives don’t meet the status quo. When God sees each of us, He sees someone who is loved, valued, beautiful, and special. God cherishes us. He’ll never walk away from His relationship with us or hold us at arms’ length. To God, we are deemed worthy, not because we’ve earned it, but simply because He says so. And knowing that is worth far more than being married to a Prince Charming.

Erin Elizabeth Austin


Erin (4)Erin Elizabeth Austin is the founder of Broken but Priceless Ministries, a non-profit organization which helps people suffering with a chronic illness, as well as their caregivers. Erin is also a writer and speaker, and she is close to completing her first book. Her message to people who are suffering is that God can bring beauty out of pain and brokenness. No matter what the situation is or how bad things may appear, God is greater. Because of His great love, there is always hope.

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Top Ten Comments No Single Person Wants to Hear at Thanksgiving

1. If your [deceased relative] were still alive, he/she would be shocked that you’re still single at your age.

2. The adults’ table is full now that your sister-in-law has joined the family. I hope you don’t mind sitting with the kids. Just watch out for Timmy – he’s a biter.

3. Maybe if you changed your hair…

4. You won’t understand until you’re married.

5. Are you seeing anyone? Because if you aren’t, there’s the sweetest guy at work I’d like you to meet, and I’m pretty sure he’s straight.

6. Maybe if you lost a little weight…

7. All your siblings and cousins were married by the time they were 25.

8. Here, just take the whole wishbone. Think of it as the Thanksgiving version
of catching the bouquet. Maybe you’ll have a boyfriend to introduce to us at
Christmas!

9. Maybe if you dressed more stylishly…

10. Remember [certain delinquent from high school]? Well, he’s out of prison and not living in his truck anymore. Interested?

Bethany Wester

The Lord will fight for you

Today the Lord reminded me that He is fights for me. This life isn’t easy, struggles and conflicts appear all around us. Struggles with finances, relationships (or lack thereof), struggles at work, thoughts, comparison and many others that can constantly weigh us down, heavy our hearts  and leave us feeling unsure. As I was reading in 2 Chronicles I was reminded of the sweet truth that although we will face struggles/battles in our life, we serve a God who is bigger than all of them.

King Hezekiah (a King of Judah) was faithful before the Lord so much so that he sought God in EVERYTHING that he undertook and so he prospered (2 Chronicles 31:20-21). However, struggles or battles still threatened him (this is also encouraging). In this particular event, his battle was against Sennacherib, King of Assyria who invaded Judah and wanted to conquer it. King Hezekiah encouraged his military officers with these words, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles. And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.” (2 Chronicles 32:7-8)

Then, king Sennacherib and his officers tried everything in their power to convince the people of Judah that the Lord was against them. They told them lies, wrote letters insulting the Lord, and claimed that He would not provide and take care of them. The scriptures say that King Hezekiah cried out in prayer to heaven and the Lord sent an angel who annihilated the officers and leaders of Assyria so king Sennacherib withdrew. “So the Lord saved Hezekiah and the people of Jerusalem from the hand of Sennacherib king of Assyria and from the hand of all others. He took care of them on EVERY side.” (vs. 22)

I love the truths nestled in these scriptures. Trusting that the Lord will fight for me will help me gain confidence, when I can sense or am in the middle of a battle, cry out to God–remembering that my power alone will not be good enough, and the Lord will take care of me on EVERY side! The enemy tries to attack  in different ways (mind, relationships, my thoughts about who God is) but the Lord will protect ALL of these sides. And of course I love the word the NIV uses  in vs. 21,  “the Lord sent an angel, who annihilated (to reduce to utter ruin or non-existence) the fighting men of Assyria” The Lord can do the same for our struggles! Today, may we all let the Lord fight for US!

Holli Howard

The Art of Forgiveness

Paul, in his letter to the church at Ephesus, commanded his sheep to do this: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Wow – forgive others as God has forgiven me.  One of the more difficult commands of Scripture, I would say.  I have learned much of forgiveness this week and in relationships in the past.  Let me share some of the lessons.

1.  I must forgive.  When others ask me to forgive them, I do not have the right to withhold my fellowship or forgiveness.  Christ was God’s agent for my forgiveness and He did not spare Him (Rom 8:32).

2.  I must seek forgiveness of others.  When I have harmed someone else, either by what I have said or done, or not said or done, I must go to them.  Not to cast blame or offer excuses, but to say “I was wrong, will you forgive me.”  This is not easy, I actually think it is one of the most humiliating things to do, but nevertheless, go to that person.

3.  I can’t put conditions on my forgiveness.  I caught myself saying this week, “I forgive you, but…”  That is a condition.  When Christ was on the cross, He didn’t say “Father, forgive them, but only if…”.  No, His forgiveness was unconditional. Just like His love.

4.  I can’t offer others reproach.  I must not withhold myself in anyway from one who has harmed me or to the one I have harmed.  Christ offered full fellowship with those of us who were His enemies.

So, what does this look like in relationships: co-workers, opposite sex,  familial…in especially the deepest of these relationships, the causes that need forgiving are most often the sharpest hurts.  When we are hurt the deepest, we have opportunity to forgive the most.  Are you willing?

Kimberly Campbell