Tag Archives: ministry

Confessions of A Single Girl.

Posted on May 13, 2013 by | 1 Comment

by: Erin Gandy; Guest Writer

I thought I would do something a little fun, instead of the continuous serious nature that I’ve had the past two posts.

These may not sound exactly like confessions; some may call them blessings.   We are not guaranteed a husband.  This is not a promise of God.  He promises to sustain us.  And so, while we look to Him to meet all of our needs, there are some confessions/blessings that any single girl can have.  These confessions are mainly mine.  I hope you enjoy!

I am able to eat French fries or Chick-fil-a or a combination of the two at least 4 times a week, if necessary.

I am able to high-tail it to Virginia with a girlfriend to watch a NASCAR race at the Martinsville track. We were probably the only girls by ourselves without a fella, but that’s what we wanted to do.

I am able to travel to fun places – within the boundaries of reasonable travel time and paid time off.  Oh please, can I get back on that ship to the Western Caribbean?

I am able to watch episodes of One Tree Hill and the Newlyweds every single night because I crave it like a boy does SportsCenter. 

I am able to have more Girl’s Nights and keep those friendships intact and refreshed. 

I am able to fully appreciate a 40% off sale at Loft or a 50% off sale at Gap.  Y’all know what I’m talking about!  When the getting is good, you have to go!

I am able to eat rice and beans for consecutive meals.  Though I love my meat, I get just as excited about this!

 I am able to pay for, train and participate in a half marathon! Those things aren’t cheap people!

 I am able to serve my church and go on mission trips to cool places like Prague!

You see, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.  Yes, all those things would be fun with a guy alongside. But that’s not God’s plan for me at this moment.  I hope you are able to see some places in your life where God is allowing you to do things NOW!  Live your life now!

Also, Happy Mother’s Day! Thankful for my mama and her example to me of being a godly woman!

Erin Gandy

Erin GandyErin lives in Raleigh, NC and is originally from Darlington, SC.  She graduated from Southeastern with an MA in Women’s Studies and is currently working as a teller at State Employees Credit Union and writing curriculum for Treasuring Christ in Raleigh.  Erin gets excited about Chick-fil-a, Target, God’s Word and teachable moments, running, a beautiful dress, and Duke basketball.

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Archive April: My Friend’s Kids

Posted on April 10, 2013 by | Leave a comment

archiveapril

Originally Posted on: July 30, 2012

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14

myfriendskids

Not too long ago, I came home from work tired from a long day and probably looking pretty ragged.  The neighborhood kids were riding their bikes in the street in front of my house and they rode by me as I was checking my mail. And how was I greeted? “Miss Carrie! You’ve got grey hair!” …thank you, little missy. I tried to pretend like I didn’t hear her, but alas, she had to make sure I knew that I do, in fact, have some grey hair. So this time I playfully sneered at her that “I don’t even have kids to blame it on!” She just grinned and rode off—her mission of age awareness accomplished. The sun must have been shining just right on my silvery highlights for her to make such a fuss over my tresses.

I’ve had my share of fun with these kids. Last summer, I was stealthily ambushed with water guns as I was outside tending to my plants. Their little squirt guns were no match for my watering hose… I loved hearing their screams of glee as they retreated! There have been other various happenings where I’ve “ooh’d” and “ahh’d” over their ability to jump over the sidewalk or show me a little flower they’ve found or accept some homemade candles they’ve made for me. One evening, I had a knock on my door and opened to a couple of the little girls holding a fish bowl. Their mom told me that they wanted me to take care of their “fishy” while they were out of town because they thought I might be lonely and he could keep me company.  I must admit it was nice to have someone to come home to.

I must be a kind of anomaly to these youngsters—a woman around their mom’s age without any kids or a husband. They find me very intriguing. And I don’t mind. I love them. I enjoy all their questions…most of the time. Questions like: Can I water your plants? Why are you not married? Do you get lonely? Are you a grown up? Why do you have shoes on? Where are you going? Can I come?

Recently, I’ve been asking some questions, too, like “What’s next for me? Will this be the year that my prayers for a family of my own start to be answered? Will there be new friends or new adventures? Will I get to travel or have more ministry opportunities?” My life is so very different than the lives of my friends who have married and now have children. My days are full of work, ministry, study, research, and fellowship with friends. I’m really too busy to be lonely most of the time. But as each year goes by, it becomes a more noticeable reality that I have more grey highlights and I’m still not married.

I’m not complaining though. I enjoy my solitary life (though solitary may not be the right word, I have many wonderful friends and family who take care of me) and on most days, I truly see my singleness as a gift from the Lord. I am able to do many things that I would not be able to do if I had the responsibilities of a husband and kids. But I do get lonely sometimes, and dislike some of the consequences of not having a prince charming around, like trying to open tightly closed jars, having to take out the trash when it’s full and killing my own spiders (while, admittedly, screaming, throwing things and jumping up and down).

But if I had all the responsibilities of a family of my own I would not be the oddity that brings the neighborhood kids around nor would I have the time, or maybe even desire, to make friends with them. I’ve even had the chance to delve into some spiritual conversations with one of the little girls while she was “helping” me weed my flowers. Sometimes the ache for a son or daughter of my own takes over my heart, but it only lasts for a little while until I can remind myself of God’s goodness and grace to me in this season of life. And then I conveniently remember that the thought of being responsible for another human being actually scares me to death.  So I’m thankful for this chapter of life where I am able to give of my time and love to my friends and their kids. And then be able to retreat into my quiet, cozy, little home.

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home…” Psalm 68:5-6

(This post was previously posted on Surprised by Love | Neighborhood kids)

                                                                                         Carrie Pickelsimer

                                        

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Spiritual Discipline-Bible Intake.

Posted on December 31, 2012 by | 3 Comments

Happy New Year from OurSinglePurpose! We are thankful for you and are excited as we look forward to growing in our walk with God in 2013! We want to start the new year right by getting back to the basics. During the month of January, we ask that you join us as we study the spiritual disciplines that are the foundation in our journey with God.

SD_OSP_back January 1, ______.  Name any year and there are plenty of new years’ resolutions that are made and not kept.  There is probably a stack that could go around the world 5 times of resolutions that were never kept.

On this date ever year many Christians make a plan to read through the Bible.  I’ve never done a reading plan from start to finish, I get bored, or lazy, or overwhelmed.  There is a list for every possibility you might have: psalm a day, whole Bible in a year, NT in a year, two proverbs a day, one proverbs a day, etc. Here is a link that will you give you multiple plans to choose from.

Maybe a read through the Bible plan isn’t for you.  This year, I’m reading through Psalm 119 and at least for the first half of the year, studying the book of Colossians with a group of ladies at my church.

Psalm 119 is all about God’s Word for us: our love for the Word: our desire for hearing God’s breath in our ears and hearts.  I want a desire for that.  I want to crave the Word like I flip on my phone in the morning and check Facebook and Instagram and email.

Psalm 119:30 says this: “I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me.”  That is what Bible intake is all about – choosing faithfully to set God’s love words before you and WALK in them.

How does Bible intake affect you in every day matters:

1.  What about that relationship that you don’t know where it is going?  God’s Word gives advice for that.

2.  What about your concern about where the money is going to come from to fix that car problem or pay the light bill this month?

3.  What about that ministry you are involved in and what the vision is for that in the coming year?

God’s Word says something PERFECT to all these things (and every other part of your life).  In order for you to know what it says, you have to read it!  Pick up the Bible and read it, today!

Kimberly Campbell

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Get to Know – Kim

Posted on November 10, 2012 by | 1 Comment

1. What was your life and attitudes before following Christ?

I feel like I sound like a broken record, especially when sharing my testimony in front of most Christians.. I was raised in a Christian home.  I don’t remember much of life before I got saved, because I “prayed the prayer” – honestly believing now that I meant it – when I was 5.  I can tell you if I was anything like I was during my teenage years, I was a strong-willed child.

2. How did you come to know Christ as your Savior?

I came to know Christ through my preacher and my kindergarten teacher.  I went to a Christian school, Mrs. Crum was a good example of kindness to me.  I remember walking up front with my Dad after the sermon and telling Elder Gibbs that I wanted to trust in Jesus.  I got baptized a week later.  I don’t remember the day or the prayer or anything, but I know today that it isn’t a prayer or action that saves you, but grace through faith and shown by the indwelling of the Spirit and the works of the gospel in your life.  That is how I know I’m a believer today.      My life didn’t radically change then, but as I grew in my knowledge of the Bible,  of God, of my sin – the Spirit continued to transform me – and still has a great work on His hands!

3. How has Christ changed your life and how are you developing that relationship with Him?

Christ changes my life daily.  To make it really personal now: I am relatively a newlywed, we have a 6 wk old newborn son, and we just moved to a new state to start a new ministry.  Talk about stressful.  Its been a while since I was in a daily habit of having a formal quiet time.  My quiet times comes in reading in between crying babies, hearing my husband read Deuteronomy aloud before we go to bed, listening to the songs and preached word in worship on Sunday morning, praying to keep myself from going crazy when my son cries all day or is awake all night.

4. Can you share with us your experience with singleness and how this has influenced your writing in OurSinglePurpose?

I was single for 34.5 years before marrying my wonderful husband.  The years taught me to be patient and to wait on God’s best.  I didn’t want to have a life of dating around, but let me tell you that ten years without even a handful of dates, definitely stings.  But, one of the last verses that was shared to me in my singleness still applies to me as a wife and mother today: He is a Sun and Shield, no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.  I knew that if God had marriage for me, then He would bring it.  If not, than marriage was not for my good.  I loved my single days for the most part – writing, traveling, hanging out with friends, living on my schedule, moving a few times, seminary, etc.  And I want to share with OSP writers that the Word is applicable to every part of our lives at every stage of our lives.

Kimberly Campbell

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“Be Still”

Posted on October 10, 2012 by | 2 Comments

Being still isn’t always easy. As a single, I am told many things that are meant to encourage me during this season of my life and while I know the advice is given out of love, at times it leads me to do the exact opposite. Some of the “advice” I get causes me to become busy striving. Striving to ”place” myself in every social event known to man in order to possibly, maybe, meet the man God has for me. Striving to serve in every ministry in the church…after all I am told “I will never have as much free time as I do now”. Striving to act a certain way and to look a certain way in order to overcome any of the negative perspectives of a single in her late twenties. I will be transparent with you, it took me many months to decide which gym to join because I was afraid I would miss out on “the man” if I chose the wrong gym. I was striving, I wasn’t trusting and believing in the Lord’s direction and sovereignty in my life.

Striving is exhausting and very discouraging at times. The Lord knows this. In Psalms 46:10 the Hebrew word for still means “to cease striving.”  It’s the concept of allowing God to intervene in your situations without your interference. To be still before the Lord means we truly do believe that “God is our refuge and strength, a very PRESENT help in trouble.” (vs. 1) and that “the Lord of hosts is with us, the God of Jacob is our refuge” (vs. 7). In other words, stop striving and wait on God to do His work! (Our Daily Bread)

Now I am not encouraging you to sit at home every night, on the couch, uninvoled in ministry and  social events …but what I am encouraging you to do is what the Lord has been working in my life—stop striving and rest in the truth that His hands are busy on my behalf and as long as I am seeking His will, bringing glory to His name, and following His direction peace and stillness will come! He will guide me and give me desires and direction on where to serve and which events to be a part of. But mostly He will give me the stillness I need to remember that He is God and He is in control and I need not interfere.

What are you striving for? Instead of striving do as the Word says, “Be still and know that He is God.” (Ps. 46:10) Remembering, He is at work for you!

Be still and know that He is God. For pathways step and rough; Not what He brings but who He is will always be enough. -Anon

Holli Howard

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My friend’s kids

Posted on July 30, 2012 by | 1 Comment

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14

Not too long ago, I came home from work tired from a long day and probably looking pretty ragged.  The neighborhood kids were riding their bikes in the street in front of my house and they rode by me as I was checking my mail. And how was I greeted? “Miss Carrie! You’ve got grey hair!” …thank you, little missy. I tried to pretend like I didn’t hear her, but alas, she had to make sure I knew that I do, in fact, have some grey hair. So this time I playfully sneered at her that “I don’t even have kids to blame it on!” She just grinned and rode off—her mission of age awareness accomplished. The sun must have been shining just right on my silvery highlights for her to make such a fuss over my tresses.

I’ve had my share of fun with these kids. Last summer, I was stealthily ambushed with water guns as I was outside tending to my plants. Their little squirt guns were no match for my watering hose… I loved hearing their screams of glee as they retreated! There have been other various happenings where I’ve “ooh’d” and “ahh’d” over their ability to jump over the sidewalk or show me a little flower they’ve found or accept some homemade candles they’ve made for me. One evening, I had a knock on my door and opened to a couple of the little girls holding a fish bowl. Their mom told me that they wanted me to take care of their “fishy” while they were out of town because they thought I might be lonely and he could keep me company.  I must admit it was nice to have someone to come home to.

I must be a kind of anomaly to these youngsters—a woman around their mom’s age without any kids or a husband. They find me very intriguing. And I don’t mind. I love them. I enjoy all their questions…most of the time. Questions like: Can I water your plants? Why are you not married? Do you get lonely? Are you a grown up? Why do you have shoes on? Where are you going? Can I come?

Recently, I’ve been asking some questions, too, like “What’s next for me? Will this be the year that my prayers for a family of my own start to be answered? Will there be new friends or new adventures? Will I get to travel or have more ministry opportunities?” My life is so very different than the lives of my friends who have married and now have children. My days are full of work, ministry, study, research, and fellowship with friends. I’m really too busy to be lonely most of the time. But as each year goes by, it becomes a more noticeable reality that I have more grey highlights and I’m still not married.

I’m not complaining though. I enjoy my solitary life (though solitary may not be the right word, I have many wonderful friends and family who take care of me) and on most days, I truly see my singleness as a gift from the Lord. I am able to do many things that I would not be able to do if I had the responsibilities of a husband and kids. But I do get lonely sometimes, and dislike some of the consequences of not having a prince charming around, like trying to open tightly closed jars, having to take out the trash when it’s full and killing my own spiders (while, admittedly, screaming, throwing things and jumping up and down).

But if I had all the responsibilities of a family of my own I would not be the oddity that brings the neighborhood kids around nor would I have the time, or maybe even desire, to make friends with them. I’ve even had the chance to delve into some spiritual conversations with one of the little girls while she was “helping” me weed my flowers. Sometimes the ache for a son or daughter of my own takes over my heart, but it only lasts for a little while until I can remind myself of God’s goodness and grace to me in this season of life. And then I conveniently remember that the thought of being responsible for another human being actually scares me to death.  So I’m thankful for this chapter of life where I am able to give of my time and love to my friends and their kids. And then be able to retreat into my quiet, cozy, little home.

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home…” Psalm 68:5-6

(This post was previously posted on Surprised by Love | Neighborhood kids)

Carrie Pickelsimer

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Titus 2

Posted on July 9, 2012 by | Leave a comment

Many times as single women, we have a hard time finding our place in the church. We have a desire to serve, teach, and minister, but we may feel limited by verses such as 1 Corinthians 14:33-36 and 1 Timothy 2:11-12. Even though I am in agreement with most complementarians that woman should remain silent in the church, I do believe that these verses can give us much freedom. These verses allow us as women to lean upon and learn from the men that God has placed in authority over our lives. So if we are to remain in submission to the men in our lives, and if we are commanded to “be silent” in the church, what are we to do? Many women lean on their husband’s ministry to find their place to serve. Whether they are a pastors wife, a deacons wife, a sunday school teachers wife, that is where they plug in to serve. This is a wonderful thing for a couple to serve together, and men need to have their wives serving beside them supporting them and encouraging their work in the Lord. But where does this leave us single women? What is our role in the church?

We as women, whether single, married, young, or old, have been specifically commanded in Scripture what our role in ministry is. We can find this direct command in Titus. Throughout Titus 2 we see Paul giving everyone in the church their specific instructions for godly living within the church. In verses 3-5, Paul is writing directly to the women. He writes,

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (ESV)

As we see here, Paul is commanding that we as women should mentor other women. In the dictionary, a mentor is said to be, “A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.” Many women run from this word because they do not truly understand its meaning. It is an intimidating word! I would like to propose a definition for us: to mentor someone means that you teach, counsel, and encourage by living life with someone who is younger in the faith.  Now this definition should be freeing to all of us. How many of us couldn’t just live life with someone else? We get so wrapped up and intimidated by this mentoring word that we don’t realize how easy this mentoring thing can be! Allowing someone to be a apart of your life is the best way for you to mentor someone! Let another lady see how you handle your everyday life….grocery shopping, studying, going to church, interacting with friends, going to the gym, etc.

If we look back to our passage in Titus 2, Paul tells us the specific things we are to teach. We are to teach what is good, how to be loving in our relationships, self-controlled and pure. Also we are to teach how to be responsible at home, kind, and submissive to the men in our lives. Allowing your mentee to live life with you, all these things will be modeled and taught by your actions. Dr. Alvin Reid states it well in his ebook With when he writes, “If you live a life that demonstrates Jesus, you will have plenty of people who want to be mentored. Mentoring is not an institution to manage-it is a lifestyle to emulate.”

Now please don’t forget this works two ways! Not only should we be mentoring someone else-you need to be mentored! Find a woman who is further along in the faith and ask if you can just hang out with her and live life with her! Remember: there are always women who you can learn from-being teachable is one of the best qualities you can have!

I have had the privilege of being a mentor and a mentee. Even though some of these relationships were only for a short season, they left a lasting impact on my life! I grew so much by being both a mentor and a mentee..I was stretched, challenged, and had a lot of fun…all by living life with someone else!

What does mentoring look like for you? Who are you currently mentoring? Who is currently mentoring you?

“A godly older woman points the younger woman to the only One who will never disappoint her and who is completely trustworthy in any and all of life’s situations.”.  -Kraft in Women Mentoring Women

Marlana Kaye

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Happy in the Lord

Posted on June 13, 2012 by | 1 Comment

Happy Wednesday, my friends! I  pray that your week is going well so far, and would like to share with you one of my favorite quotes that I have been challenged by lately.  George Mueller states,

“I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished.”

Recently, I have not been content in certain areas, and the Lord revealed to me that I have been doing everything but spending time with Him. It is so easy to get busy with life and ministry and neglect spending time with the Lord.  However, that should be our most important priority before anything else.  True contentment and peace comes from spending time with Jesus, and as Mueller states, nourishing your inner man.  No matter what you’re discontent in, whether it be your singleness, job, or something else, you can find true joy and happiness by giving your time to Jesus. I do not know what you are struggling with today, but make it a priority to take some time and make your soul ”happy in the Lord.”

Amelia McNeilly

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