Tag Archives: Jesus

The Fruit of the Spirit is: Peace

Posted on May 9, 2013 by | Leave a comment

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

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When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul. – Hymn Written by: Horatio Spadfford

Most of us can point to areas of our lives that cause stress, heartache, and unhappiness. And some of those things we can change; but honestly, many we can’t. Regardless of the situation, anyone can find serenity and calm in Jesus.

My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27).

Our culture points us to material things, relationships, accomplishments to bring a sense of security. Too many times we expect marriage, sexual intimacy, physical attractiveness, prosperity, or a successful career to bring us peace. But none of these things can guarantee a sense of inner tranquility. Why? Because each one is subject to change and attempting to find peace through something that is always changing doesn’t end well for anyone. God doesn’t promise us a life that is trouble-free but if we have an intimate relationship with Jesus, we can have a quietness that gives us strength so we are not devastated by adversity and heartache.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

I am so thankful for this Scripture. It never fails to surpass all comprehension. It’s unchanging—it doesn’t come and go depending on my circumstances and I am so thankful for that.

Your circumstances might be out of control—or maybe you are simply a little disappointed with the way life has turned out for you so far. You might think that more money, a better job, or a certain relationship could make all the difference in how you feel. But I am convinced that even with all those things, there will still be a sense of restlessness. There is only one source of peace— the God who holds the universe together. You and I can focus on our circumstances and try to manipulate them for our own benefit or we can dwell on negative facts and make ourselves literally sick and ill with worry. That’s just going to leave us with unstable and shaky security. But when we choose to find our peace in the Lord, He will comfort us through our heartaches in life and give us confidence and unshakable security.

Now I’m not gonna pretend that I have it all together. I tend to try and seek peace the same way every else does. I expect to find security in jobs, relationships, wealth, material things, appearance, etc. Wealth disappears, jobs end, relationships fail, material things deteriorate and beauty is fleeting. Even good health is not a guarantee. So much of life is uncertain. But there is only one reliable source of supernatural peace. You and I can and will experience inner serenity that isn’t dependent on circumstances and the secret to this amazing tranquility is surrendering to Jesus. Peace with God is the fruit of oneness with Him. Surrender to Him and you can face every day with a powerful sense of indescribable peace.

Karina Lopez

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The Fruit of the Spirit is: Love

Posted on May 1, 2013 by | Leave a comment

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John Lennon and Paul McCartney once wrote, “All you need is love.” Our culture has a lot to say about love. We use the word rather loosely in ad campaigns and song lyrics, in reference to desserts as well as spouses, from I ♥ NY tee shirts to  ♥☺ bumper stickers. The New Testament has a lot to say about love, too. In fact, agapē and its root word agapaō appear more than 150 times, mostly in the books by John and Paul (the apostles, not the Beatles).

So what is this love that Paul names first among the fruits of the Spirit? It is the distinguishing mark of a Christian. I’m not saying that lightly, either. Jesus uses this word when he defines the greatest commandments as loving God and loving our neighbors (Matt. 22.37-40), and he uses it again to explain that the world will know his followers by their love for one another (John 13.34-35). It is evidence of holiness. As we become increasingly characterized by love, we become more like Jesus, and only followers of Christ can know this love and act on it.

That’s a bold assertion, to say that unbelievers are incapable of experiencing and acting on love. Bold, yes, but biblical. Take a look at what Paul wrote leading up to the verses on the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5.19-22:

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love…

Love is a fruit of the Spirit, not the flesh. This is a supernatural, self-sacrificial love, more than mere affection, and without the Spirit we are incapable of knowing and expressing love as the Bible defines it.  

Love always has an object. The “works of the flesh” in Galatians 5 are all rooted in self-love, self-preservation, self-gratification, because left in our sinful nature, we are selfish, and even our “good” deeds are tainted. This is why Paul repeatedly reminded and encouraged his readers to love one another, because we are so prone to seek our own comforts and protection rather than loving God and our neighbors.

But consider a few of the numerous ways the Bible refers to love.

Love the Lord your God…

Love your neighbor as yourself.

For God so loved the world…

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Love…does not seek its own…

True love – biblical love – is rooted in God’s love, and its objects are God and others. Jesus asked the Father that his followers would “see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world…. that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them” (John 17.24b, 26b). This is the love the Spirit pours out in us – the love God the Father has for God the Son and the Son for the Father. We are given access to this eternal, pure, steadfast love, the love God demonstrated to us through Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection (Rom. 5.8). The ESV Study Bible notes that love comes first in the list of the fruits of the Spirit because “it most clearly reflects the character of God.” Only God the Holy Spirit can produce genuine, self-denying love because God is love and he loved us first (1 John 4.8, 19).

In God’s grace, I still battle my selfish nature, and I daily have to confess unloving attitudes, words, and actions. As the Spirit produces fruit in us, though, he strengthens us to deny these selfish tendencies and directs our wills to choose love. Love unites the church (Col. 3.14b). It supersedes all other spiritual gifts (1 Cor. 13.1-3, 13). It compels us to fulfill the Great Commission (2 Cor. 5.14). It banishes fear because we now find security in Christ (1 John 4.18). In this first fruit of the Spirit, we demonstrate a love that is categorically different from any other definition of love outside of Christ, and “they’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

Heavenly Father, we praise you as the only true, pure, and eternal source of love. Thank you for sharing your love with us. Fill us with your Spirit that the world may see your love for us and through us. May we always keep you as our first love. Amen 

Bethany Wester

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Archive April: Worth the Wait.

Posted on April 25, 2013 by | Leave a comment

Originally posted on: November 19, 2012

“From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.” Isaiah 64:4

It’s my birthday month! I turn 35 this year…gulp…and next month, I get to marry the most amazing man I’ve ever met! Believe me, waiting until you’re 35 to marry is a looooooong time to wait. But I wouldn’t change a thing. God’s plans are so much better than mine.

Let’s rewind the clock about ten years.  I would have been 25 years old, and to my mind at the time, the perfect age to marry (actually earlier but I would have settled to be married at 25). I was heading off to seminary ready to meet the love of my life, conquer my master’s degree, and face the world serving the Lord by my husband’s side. I was full of excitement, naivety and self-righteousness, and had lots of growing to do in all areas of life. My now fiancé, however, was living the life of an unbeliever. God wasn’t even on his radar at that time. If we would have met then, I would have either been witnessing to him or completely ignoring him!

Fast forward to about 5 years ago. I would have been turning 30, and to my mind way behind schedule to get married and start a family. I had graduated from seminary and was working full time (at a job where neither of my degrees were necessary), and trying to figure out what to do with my life. I was learning much about life and going through a lot of heart-ache. My future husband was in another state and had only been a Christian for about 3 years. He was learning much of Christ and planning to start college soon. He was focused on growing as a new creation and not even thinking about girls. If we had met then, he wouldn’t have even noticed me.

Now let’s skip ahead to last year at this time. I was about to turn 34, and had (mostly) made peace with my singleness and God’s good plan for my life. I didn’t know if I would ever marry and I was generally ok with that. It was no longer essential for a good life for me. I was happy in my little home with the ministries that the Lord had given me and was going about life just fine. There were times when being on my own was difficult and was the last thing I wanted, but there were also days when I couldn’t imagine being “tethered” to someone else and enjoyed my life as a single.

Then in March of this year, a friend of mine told me about a man from my home church who was coming to the school where I work and asked me to help him find his way around. Little did I know when I contacted him with purely helpful intentions that we’d be getting married by the end of the year (If you want to read more of our story, you can read these two posts on my blog: Surprised by Love Once Again and Life on the Fast Track).

God’s timing is perfect and it’s definitely worth the wait. All those years of longing, unanswered prayers, and missing a man that I had never met have all been forgotten. The waiting was difficult but I learned so much from it. And waiting doesn’t stop when you get what you’ve been waiting for. No, you just have to wait for something else. So learning to wait well is good and is a fruit of the Spirit (patience) that needs to be cultivated (which means effort and practice as we learn to deny ourselves and live by the Spirit).

So press on, dear ones! Keep seeking the Lord and following hard after Him. He is for you and is not withholding anything from those who walk uprightly (Ps. 84:11). He is not spiteful or teasing you by dangling the gift of marriage in front of you but only giving it to others. He is generous and a good gift giver–giving to each person what is perfectly suited for them in every season of life. Therefore, if marriage is good for you then God will bring that to you at His perfect time and in His perfect way. He will guide your path, and the path of your spouse just as He has done for centuries to bring about His good plans, so there’s no need to worry (visit my post Worrisome Birds …which I wrote when I was very single…for more on the theme of God’s perfect timing and providence). Put your trust in His faithfulness and love for you.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” - Lamentations 3:22-25

Carrie Pickelsimer

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Archive April: Who Gives This Woman?

Posted on April 8, 2013 by | Leave a comment

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Originally Posted on: December 10, 2012

I was never a girl scout, but I like to be prepared. I’m not a spontaneous, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl. So I make lists, lots of lists.  I have to-do lists, grocery lists, prayer lists, reading lists, packing lists, hit lists (I’m kidding on that last one… just seeing if you’re paying attention).  My favorite list is my annual Christmas list of gifts for my family and friends. I have another list, too. It’s a list of the characteristics I desire in my husband. Before you chastise me for being picky, let me explain – and go ahead and own it, you know you have your own list, even if it’s only a mental one! My list is not superficial. It’s essentially a prayer list and has everything to do with my future husband’s character and nothing to do with his material possessions, social status, or stunning good looks.

Throughout Scripture, God reveals numerous characteristics of manhood that he desires his adopted sons to develop, and we as their sisters in Christ should encourage and seek these God-honoring qualities in the men we date and eventually marry. So, I ask God to develop these characteristics in my future husband, knowing that they will be good for him and eventually for our family, and I pray that God will protect him from temptations that hinder these characteristics, such as greed, pornography, laziness, arrogance, and the wiles of unscrupulous women. Amelia wrote about praying for our future husbands in a post on Our Single Purpose earlier this year, so I won’t re-hash it here. If you’re wondering where to begin praying for your husband, check out Amelia’s post.

In addition to the list of characteristics that I want in my future husband, there’s something that I ask for him when I talk with the Lord about him. I ask that God will shape me into a gift for him, a blessing, a treasure to be cherished and guarded (Prov. 5.18; 12.4; 31.10). So often our expectations for our husbands both before and after marriage can be self-centered, even if the characteristics we seek are good. We want their strength, leadership, love, and protection. While these are qualities our husbands should possess and cultivate, if we merely see them as how they will benefit us, we will neglect cultivating our own characters in ways that will bless and encourage them. If marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship to the church, then asking God to prepare us for marriage can be something of a reflection of how he is sanctifying the church to prepare her for Christ’s return, when he will present her spotless before the Father (Rev. 19.7-8; 2 Corinthians 11.2).

So I pray that the Lord will teach me to be humble, not quarrelsome but peaceable, and gentle. I pray that he will give me inner beauty that comes from resting in Christ, peace, courage, understanding, wisdom, discernment, strength, resourcefulness, faithfulness, and a number of other qualities of womanhood we find in God’s Word. I ask God to make me fit for my husband, so that I’ll be a help to him and not a hindrance, eager to serve God beside him. I pray that he is shaping me even in small ways that I may not notice now but will be essential to a marriage that reflects Jesus’ relationship to the Church and will stand firm in a culture that devalues marriage at every turn (Eph. 5.22-33). When my husband thinks longingly of his earthly home, I want him to think, not of his man cave, but of me and find comfort and peace there.

Four Old Testament couples inspired me to begin praying this way: Adam and Eve, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, and Boaz and Ruth. First, I love how God placed each of these women in her husband’s life. He formed Eve out of raw material and brought her to a sleeping Adam. He led Abraham’s servant directly to Rebekah, who willingly hopped on a camel against her family’s desires for her to linger, and rode to Isaac while he prayed in a field. God brought Rachel to the well to meet Jacob at the end of a tense escape from his twin’s murderous intents. Through sorrow and difficulty he led Ruth straight to Boaz’s fields. But what moves me even more is how each man reacted to God’s gift of his wife.

When God awakened Adam and he saw Eve for the first time, he rejoiced and worshiped God. After naming all the animals and seeing none that was an appropriate companion for him, he recognized God’s perfectly formed creation, made just for him, in Eve (Gen. 2.18-23). When Isaac saw Rebekah riding up in the caravan, he married her right away, loved her, and was comforted by her presence after mourning his mother’s death (Gen. 24). Jacob kissed Rachel at first sight and wept. He wept! Then he worked 14 years for the privilege of marrying her (Gen. 27.41-45; 29.9-30). Boaz, a little slower to come around than the other three, protected Ruth in her vulnerability, saw the beauty of her resourcefulness and strength in caring for her mother-in-law in a foreign country, and honorably pursued her by working through the proper channels to make her his wife (Ruth 2-4).

These feminine qualities aren’t just for marriage, though. They are becoming of any woman who follows Jesus. So while they will be a gift for a future husband, they are also a gift to the church, my brothers and sisters, married and single, old and young. The womanly qualities I pray for only come through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit; they certainly don’t come naturally to me! I should grow in these qualities of godly womanhood as I mature in my discipleship, regardless of whether I marry, and if I marry, these are the qualities I want my husband to see in me and find attractive. May he see God’s work, and may that drive him to worship God, rejoice, and pursue me with gentlemanly honor. Weeping is optional.

                                                                                              Bethany Wester

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Archive April: Praying For Your Future Husband

Posted on April 6, 2013 by | 1 Comment

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Originally Posted on: April 16, 2012

Proverbs 31:12  states that a wife of noble character is to bring her husband “good not harm all the days of her life.” This verse does not only apply to women who have already met their spouses, but to single women as well. We should be living our life in a way that ultimately glorifies the Lord, and also in a way that would be faithful to a future husband. One way to live this out is by praying for your future husband even before you meet him.

Several years ago I was reminded of the power of prayer in this area after hearing a friend’s testimony.  She shared that one night she woke up at 3am and felt the Lord telling her to pray for her future husband. She spent the remainder of the night in prayer because she knew he was in trouble.  She continued to pray for him daily after that.  A year later, when she was getting to know the man who now is her husband, he told her that he was involved in a car accident that almost took his life.  As he told her the details of how it happened, it was exactly the date and time that the Lord woke her up to pray.  When I heard this story I was reminded that God values and honors our prayers for a husband even when we cannot see what He is doing.

Recently, I read a book  titled “Praying For Your Future Husband,” by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer.  In this, the authors share Biblical encouragement and wisdom on how to pray for your husband and prepare your heart for his.  It also gives ways to pray for your sisters in Christ. I would like to share some of these, and I encourage you to spend some time this week in prayer for your future husband as well as your fellow sisters as we are trying to be the women God has called us to be.

  • Pray for his Heart - Pray that your future husband will give his heart to Jesus Christ. Pray that he will trust the Lord each day to get him through whatever life may bring, and for his thoughts and actions to reflect the love of Christ.   Pray these things also for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Strength - Pray that your future husband will have inner-spiritual strength and that the Lord will give him strength to fight temptations and difficulties.  Pray that the Lord will mold him into the leader he needs to be. Also, pray the same things for yourself and your friends. Pray that God will give you strength in areas where you are weakest and allow His strength to make you strong.
  • Pray for Loyalty and Faithfulness - Pray that your future husband will be faithful to the Lord in every area of his life.  Pray also that he is loyal to the friendships that God has already given him, and pray that he is already faithful to you.  Pray these things for yourself and your friends.
  • Pray for Protection - Pray that your future husband will be protected from the evil one.  Pray that he puts on the armor of God each day and for the Lord to help him fight not only the outward sources that try to bring him down but also the sin nature inside.  Also, pray the same protection each day for yourself and your friends.
  •  Pray for Contentment - Pray that your future husband will be content, and have patience as he waits for God to lead him to you.  Pray that his heart will not be hardened during this time, but instead that he grow closer in his relationship with Christ. Pray that he spends his time focusing on serving Christ and others, and not dwelling on being single.  Pray that Christ alone will always be enough.  Pray for the same contentment for yourself and your friends.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Amelia McNeilly

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Archive April!!

Posted on April 1, 2013 by | 1 Comment

Today we celebrate our One Year Anniversary here at OurSinglePurpose! God has blessed and exceeded our expectations way beyond we could ever imagine! Here are just a few testimonies of how we have seen God work over the past year:

I just wanted to let you know just how much “Our Single Purpose” blog has been such a tremendous blessing to me.  Although I am now 26 years old and at the prime age to be married, I have found comfort through single friends that are in the same boat as I am in but also through sisters in Christ that I do not know.  God is working in me especially in this season of singleness, and I have finally found contentment in Christ that I cannot describe.  I know that this blog has been a part of helping me find the contentment that Christ so desperately has been trying to offer me for years! Thank you to all the contributors for allowing the Lord to use you and sharing your hearts because you have encouraged me and so many other ladies that are in this season of life.

I thought that what you wrote on OurSinglePurpose was encouraging and reminded me of the place I was in for such a long time…! However, within the past few months, the Lord has really given me peace and a renewed spirit of joy for where He has me at this season in my life. I am so glad that He is sovereign and that I am not in control because I would definitely mess everything up! Praise the Lord for His comfort and peace that passes all understanding! Even for something as “trivial” as a past relationship.

I just wanted you to know that I do read the blog that you contribute to. I have really benefited from reading it. I have recently felt like I’ve turned a new leaf in my life, becoming more independent in the Lord and realizing that I don’t need a man to make my life complete. I am excited about what God is doing in my life and the change he is bringing to the person who I am. Thank you for addressing the need of many women these days; the need to know that life doesn’t start at the beginning of a relationship, rather at the beginning of the relationship we have with Christ.

I want to say a thank you to all of our contributors! I cannot tell you how amazing they are. They have had so much courage over the past year to be honest and transparent. Time and time again, they have written from their heart about their own personal walk with the Lord and singleness. God has blessed me tremendously with not only their encouragement through OSP, but their incredible friendship.

I want to especially take the time to thank you for being a part of this amazing ministry. We are in the process of praying and planning the future of OSP. Please say a special prayer for this blog and where the Lord is leading us. Ephesians 3:20-21 will be our focus prayer,

“Lord we know you are able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us. We desire for You receive glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen”

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During the month of Archive April we will celebrate by bringing back our favorite posts from the past year! We pray that you will be encouraged through these posts whether you are a new follower, or have been a follower from the very beginning. May God continue to bless you and your desire to glorify Him in your singleness!

Marlana Kaye

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Friend To The Suffering.

Posted on March 26, 2013 by | Leave a comment

A friend loves at all times. – Proverbs 17:17

A friend sticks closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24

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Last year, I learned a lot about friendships. I have learned what makes a good friend and what makes a bad friend. Unfortunately, I have learned a lot of the latter by my own mistakes. I have also learned this from watching and observing acts of kindness from some of my amazing friends. One huge way I have learned about friendships this year is through walking with my momma through her battle with cancer.  I have witnessed amazing prayer warriors fight the fight right alongside us. One of my momma’s friends sent her a card every day for 3 months-It was unbelievable! But unfortunately, I have seen the other side of this too.

I know many friends mean well and want to help, but don’t know what to do or say when a friend is suffering. I have had so so so so many loving and well-meaning people tell me that they have meant to call or write or visit but they just don’t know what to say, or they just don’t want to inconvenience my momma at the wrong time. As much as I appreciate the thought and the desire to contact and encourage my momma, it really doesn’t mean much if they don’t ever actually do it. I have been frustrated with the thought that sometimes we as believers don’t really know how to be a good friend to someone who is suffering and going through a trial. So, I’ve decided to put together a list (in progress) to help me and you know how to be a better friend to someone who is suffering. Here are some things that I have learned through my own experience as well as watching my momma and her friends.

10 Ways To Be a Friend To Someone Who Is Suffering:

  1. Let your friend know you love them. This is so important. Yes you can do this in many ways by your actions, but words are important too. Call them, visit them, write them just to tell them you love them.
  2. Prayer. Prayer can mean more than anything else you can give someone. Pray for them daily, and let them know you are praying for them. Ask them for specific things you can be praying about.
  3. Cards. Cards mean the world to someone who is suffering. Opening up a sweet, Scripture-based, or funny card can brighten up anyone’s day, especially if you are in the midst of a trial.
  4. Do what you say you are going to do. Don’t say you are going to call soon or visit soon or write soon if you aren’t really going to do it. These are empty words and do not go very far with someone who is suffering. Realize this may get your friends hopes up. They will only wait around for this to happen only to be disappointed that you didn’t follow through with your good intentions.
  5. Help your friend be a good friend. Help your friend keep an active role in the friendship by asking advice, opinions, and questions. I know when someone asks my momma for prayer, she is overjoyed to have the opportunity to serve them through prayer.
  6. Be compassionate during the hard times. Support your friend’s feelings. Allow them to be negative, withdrawn or silent. Realize that they are in a hard place and show compassion.
  7. Don’t offer medical advice, unless you are qualified. If your friend is having health problems, they are relying on the doctor for their diagnosis and treatment, not you.
  8. Be flexible. Realize that your friend may not be able to plan or schedule a date a week in advance or even a day in advance because of the uncertainty of their life circumstances. Call at random times to see if they are able to just get out and go riding in the car, go grab a cold drink from Sonic, or even just watch a movie at the house.
  9. Help the caregiver. Care-giving can be exhausting and can be emotionally draining. Come over and clean, mow the lawn, or bring dinner. Do not just offer, because more than likely the caregiver will not accept–so just do it.
  10. Don’t ever assume that your friend will ask for help if they need it. Ask regularly about specific things that they may need help with. Many people say, “Call me if you need anything.” This is sweet but too generic and many times your friend will not take you up on that. Better questions to ask are, “Where can I drive you this week?”, or “When can I bring you dinner this week?”, or “I’m at the store, I’ve picked you up a couple of things, what else can I bring you?” Be specific in asking for their needs.

Of course there are many other things you can do to help your friend: listen, take them to a doctor’s appointment, bring them planted flowers, bring a meal, print off some jokes to cheer up their day, give them audiobooks to give them something to do, keep them updated on the news or church events (let them know when there is a wedding or baby shower), take your friend for a walk…the possibilities are endless!

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

 Marlana Branning

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A Friend to Unbelievers

Posted on March 20, 2013 by | Leave a comment

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Have you heard of the Christian bubble? A Christian finds herself in the Christian bubble when she spends all of her time with other Christians. It’s a comfortable place. She loves the joy of fellowship, engaging all of her social interactions with like-minded people. Slipping into the bubble is easy. We have abundant opportunities to develop relationships with other believers through Bible studies, ministries, church functions, and many times at work and in our families. These relationships are good gifts from our Father for our sanctification and encouragement, and our love for one another is a testimony to unbelievers of God’s grace and greatness (John 13.34-35).

Jesus had intimate fellowship with his disciples. He found rest and friendship with Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. No doubt, these times were precious and refreshing to him, but he also intentionally spent significant time with “sinners,” such as tax collectors (known to be embezzlers) and prostitutes. He met with Nicodemus “after hours” for deep conversation (John 3.1-21). He went to their homes (Luke 19.1-10). He ate meals with them, so much so that the religious elite accused him of being a drunkard and a glutton (Luke 7.34). He engaged with them, and they were drawn to him (Luke 15.1-2). We can see from these examples that the Christian bubble is not like Christ, and if it isn’t like Christ, then it isn’t “Christian.” Bubble. Popped.

I will confess that I am not good at being friends with unbelievers, and in writing this post I have been convicted of how much I am currently surrounding myself with all things Christian and shying away from interacting on a deep level with anyone outside the faith. I interact with unbelievers at work, running errands, and even in ministry, but I can’t say that I am truly friends with any of them. I live most of my life in the bubble.

We should learn from our Savior and be deliberate in pursuing friendship with people who are living apart from God. We have to meet them where they are and be a friend they want to be around. How do we apply Jesus’ example to our lives? Unbelievers don’t usually hang out in churches. So we must move outside the walls and into our communities. Here are some ideas from my own past experiences and what other Christians have shared with me in recent weeks.

  • First, pray. Ask God to open opportunities for friendships with unbelievers.
  • Then, look around you. Who are the unbelievers God has already placed in your life? Invite a coworker to lunch and try to make it a routine. Ask your neighbor over for coffee. Get into her life, and let her get into yours. Ask about her kids, what her childhood was like, what she does on weekends. Try to find common interests, then do them together. Get manicures; go shopping; jog or walk together.
  • Join activities in your community. Sign up for a city league sports team. Volunteer with a local charity. Join a civic organization. Then work to build relationships with the other participants.
  • Be a regular. I have a favorite lunch spot or two, and I’m sure you do, too. Get to know the person behind the counter. Remember her name. If you go often enough, you’ll identify other regulars. Initiate conversations. For example, my parents eat at the same restaurant every Sunday after church. When I visit them on a weekend, they can usually tell me what’s going on in most of the employees’ lives – illnesses, academic endeavors, family issues. They learn all this because they often ask their servers how they can pray for them when they ask God’s blessings on their meal. They almost always get a warm response. Relationships grow out of encounters like these.
  • Don’t expect unbelievers to act like believers. The tax collectors were still greedy when Jesus ate with them, but he wasn’t shocked by that. At the same time, he didn’t let their greediness rub off on him. Be open with unbelievers, and let them be open with you. Just remember that their openness may give you an earful or eyeful of worldliness. Love them, but be careful not to follow them into sin.
  • Imitate Jesus, not the religious leaders, who refused to associate with people who lived out of God’s will because they were unclean. We must remember that we are sinners, too, and it is by God’s grace alone that we are not still dead in our sins. We have received grace, so there is no room for a condescending attitude. Our friendship with them should not be conditioned on whether they begin to follow Christ. On the contrary, our continued friendship could reinforce the gospel in a way that the Spirit eventually uses to draw them to Christ. Which leads to my final point…
  • Point them to Christ. This doesn’t mean we browbeat them with the gospel, but we should purposefully speak the truth of Christ into their lives. We are his ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5.20). This means our behavior should be above reproach and full of love. The greatest gesture of friendship is to tell them how to have abundant, eternal life in Christ.

Being a friend to unbelievers is a great investment of time, but it’s time well spent. When we leave our comfortable bubbles to engage those who are lost without the hope of Christ, we imitate Jesus, who left the riches of heaven, became human, and humbled himself to serve sinners and provide the way for their salvation (Philippians 2.1-11). Someone was once a Christian friend to your lost soul and pointed you to Christ, and you can do the same. This is what it is to be salt and light and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 5.13-16; 22.36-40).

Bethany Wester

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Genuine Friendships.

Posted on March 14, 2013 by | Leave a comment

Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. -Proverbs 27:17

friendship_Genuine friends are rare treasures. God created us for meaningful relationships. It is difficult to flourish if we live in isolation. By design, we are made to share life with others, as well as to give and receive love.

Surface friendships don’t satisfy this need. But unfortunately, many people never experience anything deeper. This is why so many people are lonely–even if they are always surrounded people.

What some don’t realize is that healthy relationships require diligent work. I think that once God brings the right people into our lives, we must take the time and effort for appropriate and fruitful intimacy to develop.

There are plenty of verses in the Bible about friendship. And there are also great examples of godly friendships between people who loved God and each other. David and Jonathan exemplify this type of closeness, although they seemed like improbable friends: David was just a shepherd boy, and Jonathan was a prince. But to them, status didn’t matter. They were humble and showed great respect for each other’s faith and courageous love of Israel. The two gave of themselves generously and seemed more like brothers. For example, Jonathan gave David his robe—this was a prized possession of the king’s son—but in order to show his loyalty and love, he gave it to his friend, David.

1 Samuel 18:1-4 - Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.  Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father’s house.  Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.  Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.

Jonathan even risked his life and reputation in order to save his friend. You see, Jonathan was the son of David’s enemy, King Saul. Saul was on a mission to kill David because he was jealous of him and knew that he would replace him on the throne of Israel. Saul’s son, Jonathan, was such a loyal friend to David that he alerted David of the danger and literally saved his life when he found out that Saul wanted to kill him. Jonathan told David that, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you” (1 Sam 20:4). I encourage you to read more about this great example of friendship in scripture and see just how  loyal of a friend Jonathan was to David (1 Samuel 18-20).

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 - Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Scripture is filled with examples of godly, loving friendships and verses to show us how to be a friend. Having quality friends, who laugh with us in the good and stand by us during trials, requires a two-way commitment and an investment of time and energy. To be the kind of friends God wants us to be we should be transparent and honest with our friends and encourage them to be truthful in return. Transparency can be connected with accountability and can help make each of us a better person.

Genuine friendship takes time to develop. We have to be willing to put aside other stuff and give priority to moments spent together with friends. I know today a lot of our gatherings with friends end up sounding like this…

eecards_

Sounds funny, but it’s so true. I’ve experienced this many times and I have to work at not being THAT girl who pulls out her phone every 10 seconds. A generous portion of our time with each other should be spent talking about our thoughts and desires and also asking questions to prompt discussion. This is so important in allowing a glimpse into our friends hearts and minds. Another big thing is that we can affirm our love to each other when we communicate how much we enjoy a certain aspect of their personality or remember an occasion that’s special to them. Little things go a long way. Being a good friend is a way to serve the Lord. He designed us to be in relationship with others, so we should give our best to every friend God places in our lives.

I challenge you to read through the story of David and Jonathan and look at some verses throughout the Bible about friendship. Then ask yourself: Am I satisfied with the relationships I have right now and are they the kind of friendships the Lord wants for me? Ask God to give you quality friendships that will increase your joy, help bear your sorrows, and bring honor to Him. 

I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. – John 15:15

Karina Lopez

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Purity in our media.

Posted on February 27, 2013 by | 1 Comment

purityinmediaMedia has influenced people since the beginning, not just in the technology age. The images we see, the music we hear, and all other varieties of media change our hearts and minds which in turn, shape our attitudes and actions. The explosion of technology has come with a host of challenges for all of us. Addictions to video games, pornography, and even social media. Now, I’m not gonna be THAT girl who gives you a set of rules or points of things not to watch. My point isn’t to set new stricter rules or boundaries for us to follow. I think if I did that it would just become another arbitrary moral code for some to just ignore or reject later in life.  My goal here is to write about resetting our hearts and minds and focus them on our relationship with Christ.

I will be the first person to tell you to use technology. On a daily basis I am on or around some form of technology (as most of us are) — so there is always a stream of media noise rushing towards me.  Purity in our media is a very broad range in today’s media driven world. So instead of just talking about each media outlet, I want to just give you some key thoughts and scriptures for you to think about:

Garbage in, Garbage out.

  • Media DOES affect our attitude and actions. Music, books, TV shows, movies, games, social media, and apps are all media. Anything that goes in our eyes or ears affects our hearts and minds and comes out in our attitude and actions.
  • Our bodies digest media kind of like we digest food. Our eyes and ears are the entrance doors and windows to our heart and mind. What we let in shapes how we think and feel. (Why do movies have soundtracks? Why do we make playlists to exercise?) Then that affects what we do and say. So it goes in your eyes and ears, shapes your brain and heart, and comes out of your mouth and actions. 

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! – Matthew 6:22-23

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23

Choose OFF.

Choosing to turn off media isn’t something that’s going to be easy. Last month, we focused on spiritual disciplines. One of them being silence and solitude. This spiritual discipline will be key in helping you choose to turn off media. Ask God to help you in setting aside sometime to step away from media and use that time to focus on Him. When you start to fill your life with all the voices that don’t matter, over time, you’ll drown out the Voice of the One who does.

  • Video games ask us, “Are you sure you want to quit?” Yes! Media is designed to keep us engaged. Sometimes, it can even feel like being under a spell or being enchanted. We have to fight hard to stick to God’s best for us.
  • The world’s standards are not God’s standards. His standard’s are not a new set of rules we learn at church, they are the way He shows us through His word what is best for us. God didn’t make us all the same. We all look different, have different families, plans, and even boundaries for media. Seek God for His standards for your life.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:8

Purity on Vimeo.

Taking steps to reset your heart and mind about being pure in your media choices isn’t easy. Purity is a constant pursuit. I challenge you to pray about it. It is a decision and constant discipline of the mind to meditate on truth. If people followed you around to see your media interaction habits, what would they be able to tell about what’s in your heart?

Karina Lopez

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