Tag Archives: hope

Book Review: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart

Posted on September 27, 2012 by | Leave a comment

No matter the stage of life we are in as ladies, the matters of the heart are of utmost importance.  God looks at our hearts, His Word warns us to keep our hearts with all diligence, and we strive to please Him in the hope of the          Gospel of Christ.

Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart is a book that is sort of a hybrid between Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (thick, theological, ethical, cutltural), Sacred Marriage (covenantal view of marriage and its benefits) , and I Kissed Dating Goodbye (Josh Harris’ book wonder). All good in their own right, this one adds something to the mix.

John Ensor, who lives in the NE with his family and directs Heartbeat International, wrote a practical and pastoral book for women (or men of course). This book would be excellent in a young married or singles group at a church.

The first part of it deals with the base of his subject: biblical manhood and womanhood, salvation, relationship with God, how things got so messed up in the first place, etc. Good meat but his writing styles tend to jump around too much for my liking; although I do like the personal feeling to his writing. The second half is more practical in nature. Deals with subjects like submission in dating/courtship, family responsibilities, personal qualities in both men and women, sacrificing, and happiness in relationships. This part is very helpful for  singles.  One of my fave verses he used in the whole book was Ps 107.9: “For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.” “When God prohibits something, he is not robbing us of a good time. He is preserving for us a better time. He is blessing us and this blessing is for both men and women equally.”

Talking about how pair figure skating and dating look the same (or should): “Her focus is on following his lead and signaling her readiness to receive his next move. He takes responsibility for the two of them, and she trusts his leadership and delights in it.”

Probably the most famous quote in the whole book speaks of how women can be open to a man’s inquiry: “It is for women to crack the twigs and stir the leaves so we know where to find them.” I think that is the hardest thing for godly women to know how to do.

Good book altogether, one I would recommend.  A great compliment to it would be Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye from Carolyn McCulley.

Kimberly Campbell

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We Need Biblical Teaching

Posted on September 26, 2012 by | Leave a comment

“The image that stays with me from last weekend is this: young women, hordes of them, some still in their work clothes, some with strollers, some eight months pregnant, some with that look a girl gets when she knows her family is probably eating Cheerios and Skittles for dinner and she.just.doesn’t.care for the next forty-eight hours. Some of them from a thousand miles away. All of them out-of-their-minds excited to be taught, and taught well.
Do you know why I cried at my computer last summer? I cried because I want to end the crisis of biblical illiteracy in the church. I cried because I am determined to rescue a generation of young women from a faith grounded only in the shifting sands of emotionalism. I cried out of sheer relief that I wasn’t alone in my hope that things can change.
For too long women of belief have been the willing recipients of gender-specific teaching that patronizes their intellect and panders to their emotions. For too long churches have neglected to raise the bar, settling for a ministry model that is content to connect women in relationships without challenging them to deeper understanding of the Word. For forty-eight hours this weekend I got to hear influential voices raise a cry for a different standard. For forty-eight hours I got to entertain the very real possibility that the tide could turn.”

The above quote portion is from a blog of a friend of mine, Jen Wilkin, who writes over at The Beginning of Wisdom.  She is referring to The Gospel Coalition Women’s Conference 2012 and if you didn’t have a chance to attend, you can watch all the videos of the main sessions here.

Take a read at Psalm 119.  It is long but powerful and should give us a longing to be in the Word more and enable the women we teach to WANT to dig into the Word more and learn more of who God is and what He desires from His daughters (that’s us)!

Kimberly Campbell

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Get to Know – Holli

Posted on August 12, 2012 by | 7 Comments

1. What was your life and attitudes before following Christ?

I grew up in church. Church was part of my weekly routine. Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, and Wednesday nights I was at church, active, involved, and dedicated. I had knowledge of who Jesus was because of all the wonderful Sunday school teachers I had throughout the years. I knew the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, and was a moral person thanks to my parents.  I lived many years claiming to be a Christian, even going on a mission trip to Argentina.  I looked like a Christian on the outside but on the inside it was a checklist, a religion. Then at the age of 16, I was sitting in a youth service, when the Lord stirred in my heart my need for Him, a Savior, a relationship. Tears flowed down my face and I quickly ran to my small group leader at the time for counsel. She led me in prayer and I asked the Lord to come into my heart and to be my Savior forever.  From that point on my faith, my time at church, my tithes, my life was no longer rooted in works but was rooted in a relationship and a desire to live and love more like Christ every day.

2. How did you come to know Christ as your Savior?

Some of my story was mentioned above, but I wanted to share a very important part of how I came to know Him… my mom.  As you read above, my parents always took me to church. I am so thankful for this aspect of my childhood. But, it wasn’t until my mom accepted Christ into her heart in her 40s that I too began evaluating my relationship with Him. You see, my mom always claimed to be a Christian. She too grew up in a God-fearing home. She taught Sunday school, she went on women’s retreats and she prayed. BUT let me tell you, that morning when she came into my room, before school, with tears streaming down her face, with a new light in her eyes…the light of life, I saw a change. She had entered into a personal relationship with Jesus and she wanted to tell me all about it! She not only told me, she began to show me. I saw the change in her spirit, in her lifestyle, in her demeanor! Her black bible was laid out on the kitchen table every morning before work. A sight I will never forget. When I saw this change in my mom’s life I wanted it. I didn’t understand why my heart was heavy and fearful that I didn’t have what my mom had, since I had claimed to be a Christian for so long, I mean for goodness sake I had just gotten back from a mission trip. I am so thankful my Savior is relentless, pursing me, chasing me, waiting on me…because boy did I have a lot of pride to work through before I surrendered my life to Him when I was 16. I was scared of what people would think, since I had claimed to be a Christian all those years. But through His power and His perfect love on a Wednesday night in 2000, I heard and could feel Him, inviting me into a personal relationship with Him…and praise God I accepted. It has been and will always be THE best decision I ever make!

3. How has Christ changed your life and how are you developing that relationship with Him?

There are so many ways and so many details of how He has changed my life-praise Him He saved me from an eternity separated from Him. Christ has given me hope when I have been hopeless. He has given me comfort when no one else can. He has been my provider, my friend, my support, my healer, my strength, my all. I truly don’t know how people live this life without this hope and a relationship with Jesus. I have seen Jesus answer prayers; direct my paths, work miracles and open doors for me that I could have NEVER done on my own! Christ has changed my life because He has given me a reason to live, “For in Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28)”.

Relationships grow and change over time. I desire to have a growing relationship with Christ. One that isn’t stagnant but that grows stronger day by day. Although, many times I fall short, I develop my relationship with Jesus through spending time with Him alone in scripture reading, prayer and journaling. I attend a small group for bible study and fellowship. I keep godly people in my life who hold me accountable and who speak truth into me. I try my best to make Him a priority, and when I do, I am never disappointed!

4. Can you share with us your experience with singleness and how this has influenced your writing in OurSinglePurpose?

Singleness, a season I never would have dreamed I would be living in at this time in my life. When I was 22 I said “yes” to marry my boyfriend of 2 years, Colby Hayes. I was so excited and thankful the Lord had placed such a godly man in my path and was ready to plan our life together. We started looking at venues for our June wedding.  May 13, 2006 was the day of my college graduation, about 2 weeks after Colby and I had gotten engaged. On this particular day I received a phone call that would rock my world, “Colby had collapsed and was being rushed to the hospital.” At the time I lived 30 minutes from Colby so my roommate drove me to the hospital. It was there that I received the news that would change who I am today forever…Colby had died of a heart condition at the age of 26. My hopes and dreams in that instant were shattered. I remember sitting in the small room with close friends and family and the pastor that married my parents looked at me and said, “Holli life isn’t always fair, but God is always good”.  After I got over the urge of wanting to punch this very sweet, elderly man in the face, I requested to see a good friend of both mine and Colby’s. I fell into her arms and said, “Catherine, what are we going to do?” I will never forget her response, “Holli, we are going to do exactly what Colby would do and would want us to do, cling to Jesus”.  So that is what I have tried to do every day for 6 year years now, honestly I didn’t know what else to do or who else to turn to. No one could answer the questions I had or heal the hurt I literally felt in my heart but Jesus.  I was in a pit and Jesus was the only One who could have gotten me out. It hasn’t been easy, there were many times I wanted to give up,  but man oh man has the Lord taught me so much about who HE is and how much HE loves me. I have been angry at God, ran from God, gotten myself in sticky situations because I tried to play God in my life, stopped talking to God, and questioned God…but these times have driven me to learn more about who God is and who I am in Him, how to love more deeply because of Christ’s perfect love for me, to cry out to God in prayer expecting Him to hear and answer me, to see beyond the today and realize that this life is but a vapor…eternity is forever.  All those lessons I had learned in church years ago were put to the test in my life 6 years ago…and I can honestly say, although this life isn’t always fair…God is always good, always faithful, always compassionate and always loving!

This event in my life, along with others has truly shaped my experience with singleness and has influenced my writing on this blog.  I have learned, at times the hard way and am still being taught daily, that Jesus is FOR ME! His plans are to prosper me, not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  I am HIS (Jesus’s, the King of Kings, the Creator of the universe, the Spotless Lamb’s) BELOVED! Now more than ever, I am thankful for the promise of Heaven, for the assurance that this earth is not my home…but for the grace, mercy and blessings that the Lord still pours out on me daily while living and breathing on earth. I trust Him with my desires, my past and my future. I trust wholeheartedly, that if there wasn’t more to my story here on earth…I too would be with Jesus in my eternal home (boy oh boy I can’t wait!). But since I am here, living and moving on this earth, I pray that through all I do and all I am (single, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, mentor) I bring glory and honor to Jesus…to make Him known!

My favorite verse is Ephesians 3:20, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

God is bigger than my plans. What I think is great…is a small fraction to what God can do in my life and has planned for my life, if I allow and trust Him to use me! This is my prayer…Oh God use me to do the unimaginable wherever you have me Lord, by Your power and strength!

Holli Howard

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Uncomfortable Wrestling

Posted on August 8, 2012 by | 2 Comments

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. -Psalm 42:5

David’s words hit close to home for me. That uncomfortable wrestling we have within ourselves that tells us we are not where we are “suppose” to be in life. Yeah, that happens to me more than I care to admit. I believe that our world has created a false, unrealistic image of what women are supposed to look and act like. It seems not fair. Single women are kind of made to feel that they are missing something because they are not married yet. Married women are made to feel like they must have a career to be complete. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t be either one. But I don’t think every one has to be the same. We were all meant for different things. Our value is not determined by what we do, but how God views us.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! -Psalm 139: 17-18

So I leave you with a prayer I have had to pray to remind myself who I am in Christ.

Lord, You know exactly how I feel about myself. You know how deeply I’ve been influenced by the messages of our culture and how confusing it is. Help me discover the truth of my worth and value in Your eyes. Thank You for giving me Your word to cling to. My hope is in You. Amen.

Karina Lopez

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No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern-Day Idols by Kelly Minter

Posted on July 26, 2012 by | 4 Comments
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When some people think of idols, they may think of the statue gods that are worshipped in the Old Testament. However, “No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern-Day Idols,” by Kelly Minter gives a fresh perspective to idolatry, and reveals what idols today could be hindering one’s relationship with the Lord.  This book is challenging for believers and non-believers alike. For the non-believer, it teaches about the one true God and how how there is no other god but Jesus Christ. For the believer, it helps remind us of what things in our life have been made more important than our relationship with God.

 

At the beginning of the book, Kelly describes a visit she had to a museum, and how one stone statue caught her eye. She immediately questioned how people could put trust and belief into a stone. That is when the Lord revealed to her that she does it all the time, just with different things.  Minter states, “If I could display the images that splashed through my mind, you would have seen that statue turn into familiar faces from my life, career paths, and dreams. Not necessarily bad things, just things that had become detrimental because I had exalted them as gods, things that I believed could bring me life.”

 

 One of my favorite parts in the book was when Kelly told the stories of Leah and Rachel who were two sisters from the Bible. Leah spent her life trying to gain the affections of Jacob because she continually felt unloved and wanted the kind of affection from him that Rachel had. However, Rachel spent her life discontent because she wanted lots of kids like Leah had, and lived her life jealous and unsatisfied because that desire was not fulfilled (to read more of Rachel and Leah’s story go to Genesis 29:31-30:24). The desire to be loved by a husband or a desire for children are not bad desires, and ones that all women can relate to. Although, when such desires are our primary source of satisfaction then they become false gods that never satisfy. Throughout the book, Minter helps readers recognize what these false gods are in their life and then draws them to the ultimate source of satisfaction which is Jesus Christ.

 

I highly enjoyed reading this book, and was challenged greatly. Kelly wrote in such a way that made me feel I was sitting and having coffee with her discussing God and life.  It was hard in parts because it convicted me of things in my life that I had made into idols, but helped grow my relationship with the Lord tremendously.  As mentioned earlier, our idols may not be bad in and of themselves, but anything that is elevated and made more important than Christ is considered a false god. Some examples in your life could be relationships, family, financial security, private hopes and dreams, etc; but as John Calvin states, “The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much.”  Take some time today and ask the Lord to show you what things in your life that you are putting before Him and allow your relationship with Him be the most important thing in your life above all else.

 

For more information on Kelly Minter and to purchase this book, visit her website here.

Amelia McNeilly

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Promises, Promises

Posted on June 4, 2012 by | 8 Comments

Loneliness is one of my toughest battles in being single. I’m not talking about solitude, here. Solitude can be peaceful, even comforting. I’m talking about loneliness, that deep ache for another person. I don’t think loneliness in itself is a sin, but I know from experience that if left unchecked, it can give birth to a host of sins – bitterness, jealousy, envy, self-pity, neglecting to serve others, and distrusting God’s sovereignty, wisdom, and love. I have had to repent of all these at one time or another. These sins turn our attention inward, warp our characters, and do not bring glory to God.

I’ve learned that what we do with our loneliness matters. So I had to ask myself, why did I react to my loneliness with bitterness and doubt? The horrible answer: because I thought God owed me a husband, and when marriage didn’t happen when I thought it should, I reacted sinfully. Ick. Just reading that sentence turns my stomach. Where did I get such an unholy idea? It didn’t manifest itself so explicitly. Like most of the devil’s lies, it was subtle, masquerading as light and twisting truth and beauty into something deceitful and repulsive. Marriage, after all, is a good thing to desire, but like all God’s gifts, it is of his grace rather than something anyone earns. It took years to expose that insidious lie and repent of it. It took even longer to figure out where it started.

In over a decade of being single, I’ve been on the receiving end of many comments about my marital status, ranging from loving concern to thoughtless insensitivity, encouragement to condolences. The one I’ve heard the most often, especially from well-meaning  and trusted Christian brothers and sisters, has been “God has someone for you.” That sounds like a promise, and it’s one I ignorantly held on to for years with a tight, emotional and spiritual grip. I was naming it and claiming it, like a prosperity gospel “promise,” but instead of a Cadillac, I was claiming a husband. In the Bible, however, God never promises a spouse to each of his children. I had been projecting my plans onto God and expecting him to bless them instead of praying for his will to be done in my life for his glory. I was clinging to a false hope instead of the living hope I have in Christ (1 Peter 1.3).

While I still have a strong desire for marriage and periodically deal with bouts of loneliness, the Lord has graciously changed my perspective and prayers by equipping me with the truth of the promises he has given in his Word to destroy the lie I once believed and trust him with my relationships and emotions. In our desire for marriage, let’s be sure that we are clinging to what God really has promised and trust him to accomplish his will for our good and his glory.

When the loneliness comes and I feel unloved and undesired I can cling to the truth that God loves me (Rom. 8.37-39), I belong to him (1 Cor. 6.17, 19-20), and he desired me even when I was in rebellion against him (Rom. 5.8). When I’m weak and exhausted, his strength is perfectly sufficient (2 Cor. 12.9-10). When I wonder if I’ll ever marry or when I face yet another disappointment, I can rest contentedly in him, knowing that he is working everything for my good (Rom. 8.28), he will complete his purpose for me (Phil. 1.6), and he is my strength for every situation (Phil. 4.11-13). When I’m anxious about the future, I’m reassured that he has held all my days in his hands from before the beginning of time (Ps. 139.16) and he will never abandon me (Heb. 13.5-6). He has made a binding covenant by pouring out his own blood for me (and you!) (Luke 22.20), and he has re-made me into a new creation (2 Cor. 5.17). I can surrender to his calling now, because marriage is not a prerequisite for serving his kingdom (1 Cor. 7). And he’s coming back for me (John 14.1-3)! What wondrous reasons to rejoice!

Speaking of rejoicing, singing God’s Word can be a comfort in loneliness as we turn our hurt into worship and cast our cares at the feet of the One who cares for us. One of my favorites is Sojourn’s “My Rock and My Redeemer.” It captures so much of the brokenness that we feel for all sorts of reasons, including loneliness, and answers it with the truth of who God is. You can listen to it here: http://sojournmusic.bandcamp.com/track/my-rock-and-my-redeemer.

Bethany Wester

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Our Single Hope

Posted on April 30, 2012 by | 3 Comments

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask . . . Ephesians 3:20

If I could travel back in time about ten years or so and have a conversation with my twenty-something year old single self, what would I say? What advice would I give someone who’s already tired of being single knowing that she has a long road ahead of her? How would I encourage her, from the viewpoint of a thirty-plus year old single woman looking back over the years, knowing very well that the prospect of being single at thirty was terrifying at that young age?

I could say things like how this time of singleness is a good time to learn home-making, house-keeping, cooking, hospitality, etc., because these things really aren’t just for married women. Or I could give advice about dating and relationships, like “don’t judge a book by its cover” or “friendliness goes a long way in getting a date…” But I think the most important thing I could say would be, “Don’t lose hope. Don’t give up. Trust God. He is faithful.”

Over the years what I regret the most on this journey of singleness is how much I have doubted the Lord’s goodness to me. If I could change anything, it would be that I would have trusted Him more completely and would not have let disappointments create doubt in my heart of His love for me.

But we are forgetful creatures who often don’t remember the goodness of God or that it applies to our daily lives. It’s easy to begin to think that He is withholding something good from us when we see others with what we desire, or sometimes maybe we think that He really doesn’t love us that much and just doesn’t want to give us good things. But we can be certain of our hope in Christ, because we have His Word. We know how the Story of our Redemption goes and how it ends. We’ve seen His work, we experience His presence through the Holy Spirit and we know His character. The Scriptures, which are more reliable than our feelings or thoughts, tell us that He is good. He gives good gifts (James 1:17) and He longs to see us full of life (John 10:10), peace (John 14:27) and joy (John 15:11). He rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17) and delights in us “as a Bridegroom rejoices over his Bride” (Isaiah 62:5).

This hope is a firm hope, an expectant trust in the plans of God for good. But there is another type of hope that feeds from that trust. This hope is more along the lines of what Paul says in his letters when he says “I hope to visit you” or “I hope Timothy can come to me”. These are real desires and things that Paul hoped for and wanted deeply. But Paul held these hopes with an open hand. It was an “if the Lord wills, we will do this or that” (James 4:15) type of hope, a “not my will, but Yours” (Luke 22:42) type of trust. It’s a hope that is convinced that God is good and will do what is right and perfect, whether it lines up with our wishes or not.

Our unfulfilled requests are an opportunity to trust Him and let Him decide what is best for us which, if we submit to and accept it from His selflessly nail-scarred hand, often becomes something more beautiful and beneficial than what we had originally wanted. Isaiah 55:9 says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” We may not understand his timing or why he doesn’t do things the way we think they should be done, but we can trust that He is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good, and all together wonderful.

Singleness is an opportunity to find fulfillment in Christ alone and to display His sufficiency. It is a beautiful picture of the completeness and abundance of life that can only be found in Him. And it can be found in Him. So dear sisters, since I am not able to go back in time to speak to my younger self, let me say to you, “Don’t lose heart. Be encouraged. Don’t let discouragement or bitterness grow. Don’t give up. He is faithful. He loves you. He knows what’s best.”

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. Lamentations 3:21-25

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

Carrie Pickelsimer

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