1. I think we should see other people.
Translation: I’ve been dating someone else for a while, and you’ll see my new relationship status on Facebook tomorrow.
2. I’m moving overseas.
Translation: We stand a better chance of finding Bigfoot than going on another date.
3. I just need to be single right now.
Translation: I’ll call you after football season.
4. I don’t think we’re soulmates.
Translation: I’ve seen Napoleon Dynamite way too many times, and it has warped my view of romance.
5. It’s not you; it’s me.
Translation: I can’t come up with anything better than this cliché.
6. I’m not interested in a serious relationship.
Translation 1: I’m married.
Translation 2: I don’t want the responsibility of marriage.
7. I don’t think we should be together, but that doesn’t mean we won’t see each other.
Translation: I’m more interested in your roommate.
8. I think we need some time apart.
Translation: You’re clingy and that freaks me out.
9. I want to explore other options.
Translation: I joined e-Harmony.
10. I think we’re in a rut and it’s time to go our separate ways.
Translation: I miss my Wii.