Tag Archives: Christian

Altered Book Review

Posted on November 22, 2012 by | Leave a comment

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Claire and Eli, Altared: The True Story of a She, a He, and How They Both Got Too Worked Up about We, WaterBrook Press, 2012, 256 pp., $14.99

It has a clever subtitle and a mysterious byline – Claire and Eli, no last names, not even their real first names. That, along with a glowing review from Eric Metaxas, sent me to Amazon on a mission. What I found was a unique perspective in the Christian singles book world with, ironically, a diminished focus on dating and marriage.

In Altared, Claire and Eli artistically weave the story of their relationship with introspection of their views on love. In reflecting on their story, they look back to their “marriage happy” evangelical upbringings and challenge the skewed views of love and marriage that they formed. They process these threads of marriage, purity, and singleness that were intertwining in their teen and college years and measure them against passages such as 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 22, wondering if evangelical churches may give an unbalanced emphasis to marriage at the expense of the New Testament’s emphasis of pursuing the love of God and neighbor first: “we cannot let our own notions of marriage shape our love. Love should shape our notion of marriage. And Christ should shape our love” (chapter 2). Jesus’ love is selfless and sacrificial. If Christian marriages begin with goals of mere personal happiness or some sanctified version of the American dream, our marriages and other relationships will look no different from unbelievers’ relationships. Marrying or remaining single, according to Claire and Eli, is not the chief task of our lives; loving God and loving people, which includes all kinds of relationships from spouses to strangers, is.

I enjoyed Claire and Eli’s creative approach, and I especially appreciated Eli’s view of dating – it was helpful to read from a guy’s perspective. Altared also gave me a reality check on whether I am prioritizing my desire for marriage above my love for God and others. I was a little bothered by how quick Claire and Eli were to diagnose evangelical churches’ approach to singles and marriage so broadly and how they seem to push marriage to the sidelines throughout the book, as if it shouldn’t be even close to the top of a single person’s goals, although their renewed understanding of Christian love and relationships is healthier than the views they held in their teens and college years.

Several helpful questions surface throughout Altared, and Claire and Eli have asked them in a way that could start a constructive conversation in the church. For example, do our purity messages for teenagers communicate not only remaining abstinent for the sake of a future spouse but also and primarily out of loving obedience to God, who first loved us? How can church leaders better incorporate single adults into the larger church body? Altared will prompt Christian singles to evaluate their own concepts of love, singleness, and marriage and ask God to transform them by his Word. Claire and Eli’s experiences also can help church leaders better understand the felt needs of singles in their congregations and examine how their ministries and messages are, or are not, encouraging singles toward walking in love and faithful obedience to God’s commands and callings, whether that includes walking the aisle with someone or not.

Bethany Wester

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Get to Know – Karina

Posted on September 21, 2012 by | 3 Comments

1. What was your life and attitudes before following Christ? 

I remember being in school and all my teachers talking and telling stories about God. I wasn’t necessarily a “bad” kid. I was normal. Got in trouble for the same things everyone else does at that age. God was a relatively new thing we talked about at home. I was going to a Christian school so I heard tons of Bible stories about a God who created the heavens and the earth. About a God who became sad at the people he created and loved because of their misbehavior. A God who saved Daniel from all those big hungry lions. He seemed pretty cool.  So in knowing all of those things about God, I can honestly say that I knew about him…but I didn’t know him in my heart. My attitudes before following Christ where more of that of a little girl who didn’t’ want to die and be forever separated from God.  I guess I thought acting like a Christ follower…made me one.

 2. How did you come to know Christ as your Savior?

Well, I was saved at a young age.  7 years old. I was in Sunday school and my teacher was talking about Jesus and the cross. She described the story very well and heartfelt. I remember being confused because she wasn’t telling the right story for the time of season we were in. Easter is when you talk about Jesus and the cross, not Halloween. (It was Sunday October 31st, 1994) She had my attention. :)

Quick back story–3 years earlier my family went through a very hard time. We didn’t really go to church very often and on a particular Sunday morning in June we were going to spend some time at the beach as a family. That morning my dad suffered a fatal heart attack. He was only 28 years old. It devastated my family. After all of that happened, my mom had a friend that invited us to church with her. We went and God started working in our lives.  During that time of hurt and weakness for my family God’s strength was made perfect.  By God’s grace, he provided us with an amazing church family; they cared for us mentored my mother to be a woman of God.

Back to my 7 year old self–That day in Sunday school everything seemed to make sense in my head. That was the day I started to understand grace.  Jesus died for my sins. And overcame the grave. “That must mean He’s for real” I remember thinking. “If He can bring himself up from the grave, then He has to be who He says He is”. Looking back now I see how God orchestrated circumstances in my life to show me His grace. To show me who He is. To reveal the Gospel to me at a young age. I understood I was a sinner who needed forgiveness. Acting like a Christian wasn’t gonna work anymore. So my teacher asked our class if we wanted to talk with her afterward that we could. I walked up front to her and asked her to pray with me and that I wanted Jesus to come into my heart. So my little heart prayed with everything I had inside me. I asked Jesus to forgive me and from that day forward I have been trying to live my life for Him.

3. How has Christ changed your life and how are you developing that relationship with Him?

For many years, I thought my story wasn’t very interesting. I was saved at a young age so the lack of  “life” experiences that so many of my friends had before they became Christ followers was waay more interesting to tell than mine. I always thought people would never want to hear my story because frankly it was boring. That is so far from the truth. As I get older, God reveals His grace more and more to me. Even though I have had my rocky times of rebellion, God always seems to show His grace and love, and that has always brought me back.  I want to share some verses that utterly rocked my life when I was in high school:

I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Because of the privilege and authorityGod has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. - Romans 12:1-3

My life is a living sacrifice of praise. When I sleep, eat, work, walk, talk, listen…It is all placed before God. I don’t want to become so “in tune” to the culture around me that I fit into it without even thinking. I want to love God from the inside out. I want to be changed from the inside out. The only accurate way to understand who I am is by what God is and by what He has done for me, not by what I am and what I do for Him.

My relationship with Christ is like a rollercoaster. You know that anticipation you get when you’re climbing up to the first drop? The breathtaking view at the top? And then the unexpected dive? Its an adventure! Sometimes I have my ups and am so pumped and other times I feel down. Unworthy. But its those times where I feel his faithfulness and unchanging love for me is strongest. The joy and peace that He has brought to this soul is indescribable.  Reading God’s word, being a part of a great Gospel centered church, and having godly friends who pray for me are all a huge part of my life.

4. Can you share with us your experience with singleness and how this has influenced your writing in OurSinglePurpose?

Well, I never thought I would still be single at 25. I envisioned myself married with probably 1 or 2 kids by now. My experiences are pretty much non-existent when it comes to romantic relationships with guys. I have never been on a date.  Sometimes I struggle with frustration or straight up bitterness towards God. Like I have done something wrong. I am entering the season in my life where all my friends are getting married and diving into having their first child. Up until the past year, I have been quite content about my singleness. It’s been a work in progress. But God’s grace is shown to me more and more everyday. I do desire to be married one day and to start a family of my own. And as I am becoming more involved in weddings lately, that emotional side of me comes out. (If you know me well, that’s probably a shocker.)

Even though I know that God’s timing is perfect, I constantly have to remind myself that His promises to love me unconditionally are never failing. I think this has influenced my writing on OSP largely because I am starting to see God’s view of singleness more and more clearly as it says in His word. I am so grateful for OSP and the things God has revealed to me about who I am in Him. His plans for me are to add more understanding of His sustaining grace to my story.

Karina Lopez

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Get to Know – Holli

Posted on August 12, 2012 by | 7 Comments

1. What was your life and attitudes before following Christ?

I grew up in church. Church was part of my weekly routine. Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, and Wednesday nights I was at church, active, involved, and dedicated. I had knowledge of who Jesus was because of all the wonderful Sunday school teachers I had throughout the years. I knew the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, and was a moral person thanks to my parents.  I lived many years claiming to be a Christian, even going on a mission trip to Argentina.  I looked like a Christian on the outside but on the inside it was a checklist, a religion. Then at the age of 16, I was sitting in a youth service, when the Lord stirred in my heart my need for Him, a Savior, a relationship. Tears flowed down my face and I quickly ran to my small group leader at the time for counsel. She led me in prayer and I asked the Lord to come into my heart and to be my Savior forever.  From that point on my faith, my time at church, my tithes, my life was no longer rooted in works but was rooted in a relationship and a desire to live and love more like Christ every day.

2. How did you come to know Christ as your Savior?

Some of my story was mentioned above, but I wanted to share a very important part of how I came to know Him… my mom.  As you read above, my parents always took me to church. I am so thankful for this aspect of my childhood. But, it wasn’t until my mom accepted Christ into her heart in her 40s that I too began evaluating my relationship with Him. You see, my mom always claimed to be a Christian. She too grew up in a God-fearing home. She taught Sunday school, she went on women’s retreats and she prayed. BUT let me tell you, that morning when she came into my room, before school, with tears streaming down her face, with a new light in her eyes…the light of life, I saw a change. She had entered into a personal relationship with Jesus and she wanted to tell me all about it! She not only told me, she began to show me. I saw the change in her spirit, in her lifestyle, in her demeanor! Her black bible was laid out on the kitchen table every morning before work. A sight I will never forget. When I saw this change in my mom’s life I wanted it. I didn’t understand why my heart was heavy and fearful that I didn’t have what my mom had, since I had claimed to be a Christian for so long, I mean for goodness sake I had just gotten back from a mission trip. I am so thankful my Savior is relentless, pursing me, chasing me, waiting on me…because boy did I have a lot of pride to work through before I surrendered my life to Him when I was 16. I was scared of what people would think, since I had claimed to be a Christian all those years. But through His power and His perfect love on a Wednesday night in 2000, I heard and could feel Him, inviting me into a personal relationship with Him…and praise God I accepted. It has been and will always be THE best decision I ever make!

3. How has Christ changed your life and how are you developing that relationship with Him?

There are so many ways and so many details of how He has changed my life-praise Him He saved me from an eternity separated from Him. Christ has given me hope when I have been hopeless. He has given me comfort when no one else can. He has been my provider, my friend, my support, my healer, my strength, my all. I truly don’t know how people live this life without this hope and a relationship with Jesus. I have seen Jesus answer prayers; direct my paths, work miracles and open doors for me that I could have NEVER done on my own! Christ has changed my life because He has given me a reason to live, “For in Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28)”.

Relationships grow and change over time. I desire to have a growing relationship with Christ. One that isn’t stagnant but that grows stronger day by day. Although, many times I fall short, I develop my relationship with Jesus through spending time with Him alone in scripture reading, prayer and journaling. I attend a small group for bible study and fellowship. I keep godly people in my life who hold me accountable and who speak truth into me. I try my best to make Him a priority, and when I do, I am never disappointed!

4. Can you share with us your experience with singleness and how this has influenced your writing in OurSinglePurpose?

Singleness, a season I never would have dreamed I would be living in at this time in my life. When I was 22 I said “yes” to marry my boyfriend of 2 years, Colby Hayes. I was so excited and thankful the Lord had placed such a godly man in my path and was ready to plan our life together. We started looking at venues for our June wedding.  May 13, 2006 was the day of my college graduation, about 2 weeks after Colby and I had gotten engaged. On this particular day I received a phone call that would rock my world, “Colby had collapsed and was being rushed to the hospital.” At the time I lived 30 minutes from Colby so my roommate drove me to the hospital. It was there that I received the news that would change who I am today forever…Colby had died of a heart condition at the age of 26. My hopes and dreams in that instant were shattered. I remember sitting in the small room with close friends and family and the pastor that married my parents looked at me and said, “Holli life isn’t always fair, but God is always good”.  After I got over the urge of wanting to punch this very sweet, elderly man in the face, I requested to see a good friend of both mine and Colby’s. I fell into her arms and said, “Catherine, what are we going to do?” I will never forget her response, “Holli, we are going to do exactly what Colby would do and would want us to do, cling to Jesus”.  So that is what I have tried to do every day for 6 year years now, honestly I didn’t know what else to do or who else to turn to. No one could answer the questions I had or heal the hurt I literally felt in my heart but Jesus.  I was in a pit and Jesus was the only One who could have gotten me out. It hasn’t been easy, there were many times I wanted to give up,  but man oh man has the Lord taught me so much about who HE is and how much HE loves me. I have been angry at God, ran from God, gotten myself in sticky situations because I tried to play God in my life, stopped talking to God, and questioned God…but these times have driven me to learn more about who God is and who I am in Him, how to love more deeply because of Christ’s perfect love for me, to cry out to God in prayer expecting Him to hear and answer me, to see beyond the today and realize that this life is but a vapor…eternity is forever.  All those lessons I had learned in church years ago were put to the test in my life 6 years ago…and I can honestly say, although this life isn’t always fair…God is always good, always faithful, always compassionate and always loving!

This event in my life, along with others has truly shaped my experience with singleness and has influenced my writing on this blog.  I have learned, at times the hard way and am still being taught daily, that Jesus is FOR ME! His plans are to prosper me, not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  I am HIS (Jesus’s, the King of Kings, the Creator of the universe, the Spotless Lamb’s) BELOVED! Now more than ever, I am thankful for the promise of Heaven, for the assurance that this earth is not my home…but for the grace, mercy and blessings that the Lord still pours out on me daily while living and breathing on earth. I trust Him with my desires, my past and my future. I trust wholeheartedly, that if there wasn’t more to my story here on earth…I too would be with Jesus in my eternal home (boy oh boy I can’t wait!). But since I am here, living and moving on this earth, I pray that through all I do and all I am (single, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, mentor) I bring glory and honor to Jesus…to make Him known!

My favorite verse is Ephesians 3:20, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

God is bigger than my plans. What I think is great…is a small fraction to what God can do in my life and has planned for my life, if I allow and trust Him to use me! This is my prayer…Oh God use me to do the unimaginable wherever you have me Lord, by Your power and strength!

Holli Howard

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State of Perfection

Posted on June 6, 2012 by | Leave a comment

“The temptation to compare and compete is constantly lurking in the shadows of every social event, waiting to bite you in the behind and leave your ego bruised. As Christian women have we set the bar too high for ourselves?

The bubble I am aiming at popping (in this book) is that manmade construction of expectations and stereotypes that steal our joy and make us crazy. Bursting that bubble means discovering the truth about how the Gospel, the good news, brings meaning to our everyday lives. It is that we have a new identity in Christ.”

Amy Spiegel
Letting Go of Perfect
pg 5-6

At any stage of life, no matter the career or marital status, we are fighting this battle of perfectionism and failing miserably at living up to unmeetable expectations.  Amy, though a married woman, has written a book that is perfect for any woman – because she talks about issues we all fight against in this effort to live the Christian life.

Kimberly Campbell

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Rethinking my purpose.

Posted on April 9, 2012 by | 9 Comments

I’m one of those people who thinks a lot. Sometimes…well most of the time, about some really random things. My recent thinking has brought to surface some things that I am dealing with when it comes to what my purpose is as a young, single, Christian woman. One word comes to mind…waiting.

Now, this word waiting is not a new thing in my life. I’m a 24 year old graduate student who has never been in a serious relationship. I’m at the point in my life where all my friends are getting engaged and married within the same calendar year…and let me tell you, it’s not easy.

Please don’t feel sorry me, just hear me out. Our Christian culture, I believe, places a great deal of emphasis on relationships. I have prayed for God to write my love story and have cried many nights over my lack of even experiencing a love story.

But even in knowing and having to be reminded daily that God is faithful and loves me more than anyone in the universe ever could…I still have faced, seen, heard, and felt an incredible amount of pressure from the Christian community towards relationships and ultimately marriage. Girls seem to always be praised when they have found their dream guy. But when they still have yet to find ‘’Mr. Right’’ or ‘’Prince Charming,’’ they are told that God’s going to bring a man into their lives —as if the sole purpose of their lives is to get married.

So, here’s the question I have been rethinking in my head…how do I respond to this? I know people ‘mean well’ and they ask because they love me (especially mothers, grandmothers and aunts) but how do I respond without sounding or feeling jealous or bitter?

I mentioned earlier that girls always seemed to be praised when they have found their dream guy and those of us who haven’t…well, we just haven’t.

I feel that Christian communities tend to be sometimes unsupportive of single women. It seems like the very people who should be inspiring us to live a life completely devoted to Christ are the ones who severely lower our self-esteem, which in turn leads us to believe that we need to be married to be complete.

I found a book on Amazon listed under ‘Christian and Religious Books’, entitled, Getting Serious About Getting Married. I was shocked to read,

The belief that remaining single is legitimate and godly is a work of the devil. Read that again: Satan dishonors marriage by fooling us into believing that singleness is okay (page 43).

…men and women who are not connected in marriage are like the mutilated members of a mangled body (page 28).

Wait?! What?! Did that just say what I think it said? This book is saying that there is no way for a woman to glorify God other than getting married.

Are you kidding? Messages like this can lead many Christian women to settle for men who are mediocre and self-centered, just so they can supposedly fulfill God’s will.

Single women should not let their lives be consumed by their apparent “need” to find a guy. We should be concerned with devoting our lives to Jesus and serving Him faithfully. There is a song by John Waller called ‘While I’m Waiting’. Let these lyrics be an encouragement for you:

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting I will serve You
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait.

My purpose is not to fall into a slump of misery if I haven’t found my dream guy yet. My heart should be enlivened and grow deeper in my relationship with God. If I happen to fall in love with a great man, oh how blessed that man will be! Haha! But he will find me as someone who is devoted to her Lord first and foremost. If I don’t, that’s fine too, because my relationship with God is enough and provides me with the everlasting fulfillment that no human relationship can. My singleness is a journey, not a trapped prison. It’s growing in my trust of the Lord and believing and knowing He has a plan for me. Rather single or married, it won’t matter.

Is singleness a blessing in your life? Is it a burden? How will you be rethinking your purpose?

Karina Lopez

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