Originally Posted on: July 23, 2012
I have come to know a great young lady by the name of Katie Strandlund through Twitter. (I love social media by the way!) Anyways, Katie is such an awesome and lovely person. We email and Tweet each other with updates on our lives and what we could pray for each other about. Its really a cool thing. Remember having pen-pals? Well, its just like that but only way faster and cooler!
Well Katie recently posted on her blog, CautiousCreative, about Waiting for Answers to Un-Asked Questions. I want to share it with you because its seems to be exactly where I am right now. She has such a great way of writing, that I wouldn’t have even come close:
2 months. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve written anything new on here. I’ve created a pressure to write in my head & that’s been looming over me. But every time I sat down to do so, one of two things happened: nothing came out or what did come out just sounded depressing.
I opened up twitter tonight to find this from the one & only Gary Molander:
“Blessed are you who write words from the weariness of your own souls, for in those words, you offer readers a taste of authentic life.”
I was convicted. I haven’t written because the only place I had to offer words from was the weariness of my own soul & I didn’t think that was enough.
But tonight I believe that perhaps it is. And so I write…without answers, without agenda, with an authenticity evidenced by the tears falling onto the keys as I type…with questions offered from a weary soul. A soul that is wondering why friends leave. Why life has to feel so heavy. Why family can’t understand. Why I am suddenly fighting more insecurity than I have…maybe ever. Why community is so hard. Why I can’t bring myself to be vulnerable. Why God can’t work a miracle so I don’t have to fight aching hands & painful joints on a daily basis. Why I feel like I have nothing more to give. Why I can’t just make myself get over it all & be happy.
And in this moment I’m realizing that up to this point I haven’t even had the courage to ask those questions. I’ve been waiting for answers to questions I haven’t been willing to ask. And perhaps asking questions is the first step because it is by its very nature humbling…admitting I don’t know everything…don’t have it all under control.
And although I don’t always get it right, I’ve learned that as long as I try to control this life of mine it’s going to feel out of alignment.
But what next? What do you do when you have more questions than answers? When you’re restless to the point that you’re certain you are going crazy with a soul weary to the point of exhaustion?
I chase the sunset. I listen to music. I go for a drive. I cry. I cry out. And tonight, I write. - Katie Strandlund, Cautious Creative
While it’s easy for me to focus simply on the things directly around me, I know that God always sees the entire story. My view is limited. Sometimes events in life may look disappointing. But I know God sees the entire picture from beginning to end, and knowing this gives me hope.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. -Romans 5:3-5