Top 10 Situations That Dull the Glamour of the Single Woman’s Life

1. When you take your car to the dealership for a simple oil change, the mechanics talk to you like you’re a four-year-old and try to convince you to pay hundreds of dollars for “urgent” repairs.
2. Two words: clogged toilet
3. When you hear a suspicious noise in the middle of the night, it’s up to you to pray and then be prepared to unleash all manner of righteous fury on whatever might be foolish enough to come in uninvited.
4. There’s no such thing as a honey-do list in your house, unless you call yourself Honey.
5. If you want nifty kitchen gadgets and pricey bath linens like the ones your married friends got at their bridal showers, you have to buy them for yourself.
6. You have sharpened your math skills by learning to reduce recipes from six servings to one.
7. You find yourself perched like a monkey on your kitchen counter after the third sighting of the skink that has taken up residence in your laundry room, and you realize it’s time to be the daughter of Eve that you are and take dominion over this part of creation. There’s not enough room in this house for the both of you.
8. You know the meaning of “fifth wheel” first hand.
9. You’re on a first-name basis with the meat department staff at your local grocery store because you’re always asking them to break up “family size” packages.
10. After four consecutive roommates move out to get married, you decide to get off that merry-go-round, move to a smaller, less expensive place, and adopt a dog, which unlike any prior roommate, isn’t housetrained, and you learn how quickly an odor can permeate 500 square feet.

Bethany Wester